It is birthday week in my family. My nephew, brother's wife, my Mom, my Dad and I all have birthdays this week. My Mom would have been 64 on Wednesday -- I keep hearing the Beatles in my head "When I'm 64...."
Work is making my head explode. My tolerance for stupid people is waning. My appreciation for decent people is increasing.
I'm going through one of those phases where it takes everything I have to get out of bed and go to work. At home I've been minimal functioning this past week. My husband commented to me yesterday on how he is trying and trying but just can't keep up. He can't believe how the house got away from us in just one week. I pointed out to him that this is because I have not done a darn thing. Not a darn thing. I'm not putting things away, I'm not staying on top of the kids, I'm not throwing away the junk mail and papers, I'm not calling people back, I'm not preparing meals.
My husband figured out the depression part on Saturday and has been wonderful and supportive -- I do think he is praying I pull myself out of this quick. It is hard on him and I hate being that kind of burden. The only way I can describe it is that when I have energy it is pure anxiety - I'm freaking out over whatever is handy. The rest of the time I don't have energy to do anything (the thought of making a phone call or going to the store exhausts me -- let alone DOING anything). My pain is bad right now (typical for me on chronic pain when I'm depressed it always spikes). The chiropractor told me to rest and to let my body heal more. REST?? That is all I've done all week and I'm still exhausted. I walked Saturday and made my dancing knee hurt. My heel is killing me but I want to go to the foot doctor like I want a poke in the eye.
My kids have been cute and sweet to me -- but they are determined to make hubby psycho. They live to make him yell and he forgets how ineffective yelling is. My migraines are back -- wonder why?
On the bright side: I got cute and cheap Halloween decorations that I'm putting up to cheer me up. I'm praying for those who needed -- please say one for me. If I can get back to church consistently and get my eating back under control then I know my depression will improve.
I'm going to my weightloss meeting tonight even though I'm not going to have a loss.
2 comments:
wow. I can totally relate to your blog. keep writing. I think that's helped me more than anything. I've lived with depression my whole life, and have found it's directly related to eating carbs and no protein. well, okay there's a lot more to it than that. but the book "potatoes not prozac" has changed my life. or I guess I should say I'm still trying to change, but I have hope now. which is a wonderful thing.
okay, I got off track there, but perhaps it's your diet that allowed the depression to get to where it is. dieting can be very hard on your brain. do it safe, do it right and it will be good for your brain and your life. I think Suzan Summers is a genius. her book "slim and sexy for life" is geared towards people older than me, but still very applicable. it explains a lot about the relationship between food and brain chemicals. it's amazing.
Thanks wednesday girl -- your blog ia a hoot :) The scene at the beer party was too funny. Thanks for the advice on the diet -- I'm working on it. I only plan to go the healthy route since I have enough issues already without making nutrition one of them! Keep blogging for commenting -- it was really nice to get feedback!!!
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