I did the "have beer with dinner" thing last night. This led to the "I think I'll drink beer after dinner" thing. I was doing well with 3 nights of unassisted sleep, then I blew it. Oh well. We went out to dinner and the beer went well with the meal. I'm over it. I can't beat myself up for this stuff, just have to keep trying to make the positive changes. Slow and steady wins the race. I need to reduce the beer if just to cut the calories alone! I'm thinking the bagel obsession must end now too -- by keeping that off the breakfast list I'll have a better feeling of control over my diet. I've lost 3 pounds over the last few weeks, but my clothing still does not fit. Ugh.

I am committing to going back to the gym this weekend. I always feel happier when I work out.... I'll start slow and just make sure to hit the gym every weekend. This way I won't feel guilty for what I'm not doing, I'll feel good that I'm doing SOMETHING!

I'm taking spring semester off to focus on health, diet, and getting rested. I've been too tired for too long. Time to take better care of ME! I need to pick classes to register for this summer and fall -- I think I'll try to not overload like I did this time. Lesson learned! I think I'll do better on my diet and exercise by continuing to list my progress here. Seeing my progress in writing helps with my accountability to myself.

I'd love to quit work and just hurry up and finish school, but I provide the health benefits for our family and my income is needed. My hubby and his father run a small construction company and right now there is no money coming in from the business. Hence, me leaving my job is not an option (besides the fact I work for family and can't let them down until I finish the teaching certification process -- they expect me to leave when that is done). It is very draining (work and school on top of a busy family life) but this situation is temporary -- this too shall pass :) My big focus is to enjoy my kids during this process. I don't want to be robbed of their childhood while trying to achieve the goal of having summers off with them.

Hopefully I can win the Lotto -- my family knows I'll quit if I make that dream come true! I sure would be happy to have my husband off the hook of working too -- he'd make a great house husband if only we didn't have to worry about the inlaws. Ah what a tangled web we weave when we work with family!

I've been sad these last few weeks as I've been forced to prune dead leaves off my HUGE ivy plant on the cabinet in my kitchen. More dead leaves every day. My sister was to water my plants while we were on vacation and she missed this one. It isn't high up and it was the biggest plant I own. It is on the same side of the room as the other plants but not on the bakers rack (where most of my plants are). She missed it. My husband is hilarious because he said she missed it on purpose. She wanted the plant from the funeral but it wasn't given to us by her people so I picked it first. It was a stunning plant until she failed to water it.

I take the blame -- I held off on watering a few extra days before we left town planning on giving a BIG watering on the way out the door. I had to leave too quickly and couldn't water so I called my sister who agreed to take care of it. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad about the plant dying if I hadn't kept it alive for a year and hadn't thought all was well when my sister agreed to water.

I think I'll stop by the florist on the way home today and try to get another. I've clipped some pieces from the dying plant to start another -- but I need to fill this big spot that I look at daily. I love seeing life and beauty in my house and I really miss this darn plant looking so darn pretty in that corner. I am sentimental, it did remind me of Mom (in a good way) and I need to cheer myself up!

Daffodils are starting to come up in the yard... spring WILL come!