My evil sister is making me nuts. Yesterday at the brunch (following mass for my mom) she asked my sister inlaw if she would like to go through Mom's clothes with us. Hello. I've been waiting on my sister for the better part of the whole damn year and now she's pulling in my sister inlaws so that we have MORE schedules to work around. Not to mention the fact that I'm selfish enough to admit I'd like the first shot (with my evil sister) at my Mom's things. Just because my Mom's kick ass clothes won't fit her she doesn't really care how I feel. Ugh. Now I look like a selfish pig if I follow her suggestion on "just go over there and pick what you want before we do it together." I want some of my Mom's things and I'd be happy not to feel selfish is the bag I take home is bigger than someone else's. Sorry if I don't want to include my sister inlaws in sorting through my Mom's things, but I don't. It is private.

What drives me batty about my evil sister is that she postures so that she looks like a kind and generous person. She makes these kind and generous offers to people knowing all the while that nobody will take her up on it. If you take her up on whatever she offers she is secretly annoyed with you. She is one of those people who keeps track of favors so that she can throw them in your face later when she wants you to do something for her. All it makes me do is resent her and never want to help her. She actually says things like "I've done it for you" when asking for a favor. It makes you want to punch her. I think she offered this to the sister inlaws thinking they'd say no (or thinking it would buy her more time in delaying the process).

I'm really sick of my evil sister. I'm sick of her phony ass offers and her condescending attitude. She postures like the greatest aunt in the world, but made my kids feel like baggage last week. She picks them up and drops them off at religious education for me once a week. My Mom used to do this (since religious educations starts and 5 and I work until 5) so my sister pretended to be generous and offered to take it on. I took her up on it after she did the whole "I'd love to do it. I want to see your kids more." I was an idiot to take her up on this 20 minute weekly commitment. She lost the schedule (as did I) and didn't realize that they had last week off. She calls me and since I was on the other line leaves a super nasty message "I'm trying to reach you and Tim but neither of you are answering your phones. So, I'm just driving around with your kids. Guess we'll go to my house, call me."

I admit openly that I should have been more on top of things. Oops, I'm human and made a mistake. What I just can't believe that she has become so self centered that she didn't even realize that my kids are listening to her as she leaves her pissed off message. Not like I held it over her head when the kids DID have religious education but she took them home when my silly daughter said they didn't (so they missed a week as a result). I let it go. A normal aunt would have made light of the situation, would have done something quick and fun with the kids (like even watching cartoons) and would NOT leave a nasty message while the kids can HEAR YOU. Damn it. Be mad at me -- that is fine. Just don't do it in front of the kids -- it isn't their fault.

I was fried since I don't want my children having the impression that my husband and I can't be reached in an emergency. (What would you think if your crazy aunt left messages on voicemail while you were in the car? Not 5 minutes passed from start to finish but you would have thought we didn't call back for hours). When I got them in the car to go home I explained that we ARE reachable and that I'd called back as soon as I'd gotten the message (she didn't leave one at my office, just on my cell which she knows doesn't get a signal in the building). I told the kids that I'd gotten back with her within minutes and that I was sorry they had to drive around for a few minutes with Aunt K. during the confusion. My son commented how "She talked about us like we weren't there, like we were toys of yours that she had and didn't know what to do with." Amazing how a 9 year old picks up on the undertones isn't it? I told him that she was annoyed with me and not them and that I was sorry it came out that way.

My sister doesn't have kids but is a teacher with a masters degree in early childhood development. How crazy is it that her professional training and years of "you have to look at things from the child's perspective" could go out the window just because she's pissed off at me.

Next year I'm not having her help with religious education (I'll do the family at home program -- I didn't used to have the confidence to do this but I think I can handle it). I don't like having to depend on others -- especially my sister. The sad thing is that she does not even realize how she is excluding herself from their lives when she pushes me away like this. For someone who stated "My goal in life is to be the best aunt in the world" she has really fallen off the pedestal. I don't like how she treats me and don't want my kids to see it -- they are old enough now that they see it. They notice how she scolds me. If I call her on it I'm overly sensitive. I can't win with her. I honestly would be happier without her around me.

I can now see how people end up excluding family from their lives when being around them is more painful that it is worth. I cringe when I see her at family events and I am thrilled when she can't attend social functions that we are both invited to. I know my Mom would be appalled. I am just having a really hard time putting myself through being around her. I am trying to be a big person -- but it is hard when you have bitten down your feelings for a year and a half. I have put her needs (my sister's) before my own due to her wedding. The damn wedding is OVER. She is no longer the center of the universe but is still acting like it. Oh goodness, when will bridezilla leave town?

I wish I could talk to her. The last time we had a long talk I thought we resolved a lot of things, but the behaviors continue. If I tell her how she came off last week with my kids she will blame me. Ugh.

On a lighter note -- I'm thinking about getting another pug.