I cried today at mass. Hearing The Passion as the gospel hit a particularly soft spot in me. I can picture God sending his only son and what losing that son would be like. Having experienced close loss this past year suddenly the story of Jesus and suffering takes on a whole new light. I am unable to make it through without tears.

The awesome soloist Beth sang a song called "Why" and I nearly didn't survive. Sometimes when I attend church I'm overcome... and I feel awkward crying while everyone else is all bored and normal. Ever since Mom died it has been that way. I'll think of her or a song she liked and the tears come popping from my eyeballs. Did I bother to carry a purse? Did I have any kleenex in my pocket? NOPE. I just sat there wiping the tears away with the back of my hand. Losing Mom on Holy Saturday makes this week feel like the one year mark instead of the actual date (a few weeks ago). How strange that we have survived a year without our rock.

It was Palm Sunday so I taught myself to turn a blessed palm leaf into a cross. We stopped at Mom's grave after mass and I left it there. I like it there -- it is always peaceful. I miss her. We went to dinner and just got home. Now my son and I will play a game and I'll be grateful that I have such great kids (and that I had such a great Mom).

I wish that the weekend could last longer...