We went to dinner for our 13th anniversary. We took the kids and it was nice. I bought lottery tickets on the way home. A girl has to dream...
Work was frustrating today. Winning the lottery would not suck. I bought smokes but didn't smoke any. I want to. The hubby would be disgusted in me. I just need a little something right now... smoking shouldn't be what I need. What am I thinking sometimes?
2 comments:
I wonder --too-- what you are thinking. I read your blog and I think about my life and in comparison your life seams perfect. you are so good. yes, you've gota a big load to tow: kids, work, school, an extended family that's not perfect. but you have a great mind. great life. you do not need the smokes. but maybe it's something more, that's on the inside. why does anyone need to smoke???? I'm going to have one right now. I've had it with every thing. and everybody.
I'm mad that my husband cannot keep the "fear of the dark" type daemons at bay. I'm mad that my lover is in love with his x-girlfriend whom he met while I was falling in love with him. E, whom I would have given up everything for, but he fell for her. I'm scared because I'm peeing huge amounts of blood and no dr will say that anything is wrong with me. for wednesdaygirl it's normal to pee blood.
I'm going to smoke and cry and not worry about anyone else.
tomorrow is my 10 year anniv with my husband. we are good together. why can't that be enough. why does wednesdaygirl need so g. d. much!!! and why am I blogging on your web site??? this is supossed to be a comment about your blog entry. somehow I turn everything to be about me. I think that's part of my problem. Happy 13. You are great! eat some fat.
you are right. I should suck it up and find my backbone. I hate how I crawl back to smoking when I'm weak. I just need to get my hands around how to be strong about not smoking and about eating better. I wish that it was easier. I'm weakest when I'm tired...
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