This is my favorite flower -- the peony.
I like the pink best, but this white version with the tiny splashes
of dark pink is pretty darn cool. I love flowers and I love taking pictures!

4:59pm -- I am very disturbed. I just got an email from R'’s teacher that he was very disruptive for the substitute teacher yesterday and that this was the second time. UGH! If he acts up tomorrow he will be sent to the principal and will get a pink slip. Ugh. I am sick. Why the hell is he acting up! He is acting up at home and at school now. While I fully realize he wants more attention, this is not the way to get it. Why must he act like this just before summer starts? He had ONE FREAKING WEEK left! Dammit. I just want peace. For goodness sake.

I wish I had never smoked. I want a cigarette like I can not believe. I wanted so much to go home tonight and have a nice evening. M left her notes for school in T's truck so I am aggravated with her as well. I try to teach them to be responsible but they both are completely disorganized and forgetful. I am sick. I feel like I suck as a Mom since my 9 and 10 year olds can'’t even get notes to and from school without being late. Dammit. I hate when I suck as a mom. I can handle a lot, but screwing up my kids gets me down and lately I feel like they just don't get it. Responsibility is not happening. R has already lost TV privilegesÂ…. Now to think of another punishment. Ugh...

I bet I'’d feel a lot less overwhelmed if the money thing wasn'’t such an issue right now. I'’m paying late fees up the ass because T has not been paid since February. Ugh..

10:51pm -- I am less disturbed. Time seems to heal my wounds of each day. Work sucked so much I didn't even want to blog about it. All of my work frustration leaked into my real life prompting me to overreact to dear R's exploits.

To deal with his situation I printed his teacher's email and handed it to him once we got in the car to go home. His eyes popped out of his head and you could see the irritation, anger, fear, and sadness cross his face. He has a way too expressive face (just like me). We discussed at home and I felt much better -- I think he did too. His intentions were not bad, just the results.

He has caught whatever flu T and I have been getting over. Initially I thought mine was food poisening. Now I'm not so sure. Anyway, dear R was sick as a dog tonight. I know this because he didn't eat. When this boy does not eat I know he is sick. It may have been the tacos at lunch, or it may have been this awful bug going around, I'm just not sure. One week from today the kids are out of school. I can not wait. I'm thinking of taking them to work with me next Friday and cutting out early to go Up North. I could use an escape and I bet they could too!

Prior to working with family I would schedule a few vacation days for the last day of school and into a long weekend. There was something special about packing up the car and meeting them at the school. They would be shocked that I'd packed their favorite stuffed animals and books. Like I didn't know then that well! Hello? Who's the mom here?

I want to pull it off again this year. How cool would that be? Maybe I can manage a mini trip if not a full weekend. We shall see. Father's Day complicates matters. Hmmmmm....

Hopefully R is well and behaves tomorrow.