We ended up going to the party and having a great time. It was at a Japanese Steak House. Needless to say, the bill broke us. Money is making me sick. I am forced at this point to once again dip into our home equity line of credit. This saddens me greatly as I feel us slipping deeper and deeper into debt. I will once again borrow against our equity in order to make our current batch of past due bills.

I hate watching our debt grow, but I will calm myself by controlling what I can control. It is better to borrow than to destroy our credit further by being late on more bills. UGH! This and I still do not know how I will pay my summer or fall tuition. I will avoid contemplating how we will pay our summer sitter for the kids. T is going to have to find a way to manage this through the business since it is not manageable through our budget!

One thing at a time, I must not think ahead! I am amazed at how our finances could go so far south the last few years. The car accident started the ball rolling and it has gained momentum ever since. Tuition, my sister's wedding, my Mom's funeral, and my illnesses and injuries have really added up. I miss stability but will have to block it from my mind for now. Such is life. I bought another lottery ticket. It would be fun to have a small win to take some of the pressure off. I don't need crazy amounts of money. I would just like to elimonate the debt.