Evil Sister Update: She's at it again. We got together with our cousins Friday night. My sister joined the group this year and I was disappointed. It seems that when she is around I simply am not as happy or have as much fun. She likes to minimize me with small biting comments that initially go unnoticed by others, but it you pay attention you eventually realize what her game is. We have a mutual friend who actually mentioned it to me so I know this is not my paranoid mind.

So... when we were with our cousins, it goes without saying that she had to tell stories that she knew embarrassed me. In front of everyone, I asked her when she was going to let this particular topic die as I'd asked to previously. No real answer came -- just a small glare. She then went on with her conversation as if she never heard me. I decided to go on with the weekend and not confront her since this would only result in unpleasantness.

I wish we could get our relationship back. I just can't feel close to an evil sister who has to tear me down to build herself up. I get it that it is all about her insecurity, but must she make ME a victim of HER insecurity?

It is Saturday morning. She had talked about driving home tonight after the beach today. I was talking her out of it. I no longer will be doing that! If she wants to leave I will let her. How sad that I'm happier here without her. Saturday afternoon: Evil Sister was again evil.

She knows the rules of the house Up North. When you leave you make the bed fresh for the next person. The only exception to this rule is my Dad since his is the only room that is not up for grabs. His room is his room darn it. I'm fine with that because that is how it should be. So this afternoon my sister says to me "Do you think I have to change the sheets since I'm only staying one night?" My immediate response was "Yes, of course you have to." This chafed her. How dare I think this is a given? I said sorry, but the damage was done. She was pissed. It was all deep sighs and short answers after that.

At this point my son has a minor crisis that needed to be treated with some sensitivity since he is now 9 and can feel self conscious. Since Evil Sister was heading to the beach I asked if my daughter Wonder Girl could head down with her and if Wonder Boy and I could catch up. Nasty tone, "I guess so." I tell her never mind. She then pulls the "I'll take her it is no problem" jazz. Like I would send my daughter down with her after that nasty tone? I don't think so. I told her I'd like to talk about it -- she said she had no problem taking my daughter but she didn't want to talk to me.

Apparently she does not want to have a disagreement with me when I'm calm and don't lose my temper. Growing up she always won ever fight because in our house if you raised your voice you lost the fight. I don't raise my voice anymore. I also don't take the bait as often as I used to. I think she is threatened by the fact that she can no longer control me in this manner.

Tension was high at the house but got lighter at the beach. I think she realized that my kids were seeing her in a whole other light that was not so favorable. She didn't bring up any disagreements, she just acted cold. I was still sad though.

The mood of carefree joy that I like to keep going while up here was pretty much rained upon. The kids and I would have had so much more fun without that mood spoiler! I'm no longer mad at my Evil Sister, but I am proud that I am not letting her barbs sink into me without response. I'm keeping my cool and am choosing not to let these things slide. I've let things slide ever since my Mom got sick. All this has done for me is to make my resentment grow as her words sunk into my skin.

Losing my Mom was a multiple loss. I lost my Mother, protector and friend. I also lost my sister in a lot of ways. I joke and call her my Evil Sister, but we were close growing up -- and I miss that. She used to be the person I could trust and depend on. Now she is the person who hurts me most in this world. I miss my Mom. I miss my sister. I hope my sister comes back to herself. Currently she is the center of the universe. I thought this would change with her marriage last year, but it hasn't.

Hopefully she will get pregnant (they are trying) and she will realize that she is not the center of the universe. I miss her being my kid's favorite aunt. They no longer feel like they are special around her and that is sad. I miss her being my support. I miss feeling supportive to her. I miss enjoying her company. I miss my sister. I hope she comes back.