I finally went to the doctor. I've been putting it off since my weight isn't where it should be and I am not currently working out. I just have not felt up to working out -- despite the fact that I know that I'll feel better if I get back into this habit. Sleep has been a problem for me since my 2001 car accident. I was on a mild antidepressant that had a wonderful side effect of helping me sleep. I was taking this until December 2004 when I began to have side effects. I stopped taking the medicine and have struggled with my sleep ever since. I am not depressed so my doctor agreed it was a good call on my part not to get back into depression medicine.

So, my doctor decided that it might just be time for me to see a sleep specialist. She agrees that putting me on a sleep medication is just a band-aid, it is better to find out the root cause. So I got my guts up and called to make my appointment. It took guts since the last thing I wanted was another specialist in my life.

Being a chronic pain patient (and with the heart and stroke history), I have enough of specialists the last few years to last me quite some time. I have been to cardiologists (had a hole in the heart which caused a stroke in 2002), neurologist (suffered migraines which improved when I got the heart fixed), physciatrists (2001 car accident), the pain doctor who also does acupuncture (due to 2001 car accident), physical therapists (back problems 2005, 2001 car accident), allergists (bad allergies since I turned 21) , the chiropractor (he rocks! he helped me with the neck pain), an endocrinologist (I was disappointed my thyroid was not underactive, he said my issues were from a medicine I was on), and other specialists I do not recall since 2001 when my health fell apart. You can see how I might tire of the process?

I called the new specialist's office this morning (despite my qualms) because I know the lack of quality sleep is effecting my life. It makes motivation drain and pain gets worse. So I get myself braced and make the call.... and ended up having to leave a message. Sigh. I hate that! Hopefully they call back soon. Waking each morning with the pain above my right eye is getting sad. This is where the pain settles since I've been clenching my teeth in my sleep. Apparently I have issues. Worrying about hubby's employment situation just might be stressing me out..... maybe..... I will also admit that I have been snoring. It is worse when I drink beer or wine (good sleep aids, but not really if you want quality sleep). The snoring is embarrassing. My primary care physician is wondering if I'm a sleep apnea person like my dad (Mega Snore Man). The other sleep killer is when the pain wakes me up or prevents me from going to sleep.

My greatest fear is that this specialist will take away my morning 24 oz. coffee from Dunkin Donuts. This is one of my joys in life.... please don't let him take it away!!!!

Maybe they will show mercy. Maybe I'll get to keep my cup of joy. The coffee habit is a caffeine addiction, but is it wrong??? I limit myself to the AM coffee... please don't take it away from me!!!!!