Grateful

Today was a good day! I enjoyed decorating at Dad's house. My sister and I did not battle. It is amazing to me how my refusal to participate has taken the wind out of her hostility sails. Why didn't I realize this sooner? It is empowering when I don't let her get to me.

It also is funny to me now how helping was such an ordeal when I was younger. I remember feeling put out and annoyed. These days I like helping -- it makes me feel better about myself when I can be of use. I like being cheerful about it and making it pleasant for my Dad. I like doing the little things the way he wants them done. I like doing the annoying tasks without a complaint. I like these things because I know he appreciates them. It is appreciated that I put my wants aside to do the task his way.

I don't impose my will upon him, I do it his way even if my way is better. I enjoy the maturity I've gained that allows me to put my way aside to do it his way. I like that I can make him the priority. I planned to give him the whole day so I don't begrudge a moment of the extra time it may take to do it his way. I like the feeling of not worrying about rushing. I like the feeling of putting his needs ahead of mine.

Growing up I hated helping. I hated holding the lights for the Christmas tree. I hated holding the tools and fetching this or that. I hated the waiting. Is it age that makes the waiting no big deal now? Is it that I run a lightening speed through my days that I can wait patiently while he fiddles with the lights forever? I like doing things at the slower pace. I like the fact that me waiting patiently makes him happy. I like that my easy going disposition during these tasks makes them more pleasant for him. I like helping.

Why didn't I used to like helping? Why didn't I used to like sunsets? Now I can sit and watch the wind bend the trees. Now I can sit and watch the rain fall. I love the quiet moments. I love watching the clouds move across the sky. I love moments with those I love. I'm grateful for this time with my Dad.

Other stuff:
The date night was great! WOW is it nice to spend time with just my Hubby! We had a nice meal and then shopped. We meandered and took our time.... ah the luxury of time! To shop together without kids asking for things or without kids being annoyed as we browse. It was great.

Prayers for my brother -- thanks for the prayers! I've kept it vague out of respect for him and his privacy. (He is tech savvy, and may even read this blog for all I know. ) I continue to pray for him and for healing in his marriage. He is a great guy. He is not perfect and nobody is. I pray that healing comes, and that joy follows. He deserves happiness, we have had too much sorrow. He is in my prayers and thoughts constantly right now. If you can keep him in your prayers I will be grateful. When my Mom was sick I learned how the power of prayer can carry you through impossible times. May the power of prayer help my brother and his family.

Tomorrow I hope to catch up on homework and holiday decorating. Tonight has been relaxing... sometimes it is nice not to work on anything...