I am not mature enough to be the bigger person.

I was hoping that age and experience would have given me wisdom. I was hoping that I would be able to be a bigger person and maintain friendly relations with my little brother's wife despite the fact that she is breaking his heart and tearing apart their family. Oops. I was wrong.

I wish her no ill, but talking to her on the phone today made me so angry my head almost exploded. She called to find out what my kids want for Christmas. Nice thought, not sure if it was an excuse to feel things out or not. On the call she dropped the "you heard what's going on with us -- we are great parents together though and that won't change." My thought How the hell won't that change when you are tearing apart your children's stable world? How is it that you are no longer great together in other areas when you won't even go for marriage counseling before filing for a fucking divorce?

She then went on to say how her recovery from surgery is going well, which is good since she can't stand when she gets too much sympathy. And then complains that my brother has been almost too nice to her offering to get her things and do things for her. My response? Silence.

What the hell. I told her I had to go. I didn't want to say anything that I'd regret, but I didn't want her to think for ONE MOMENT that I was going to validate her position. Nope. Not me. Divorce can happen, but don't you at least make an effort at counseling? Seems to me that is the least you would owe your spouse when you drop this whole bomb unexpectedly.

I am so sad that she is tearing apart their family. I am also sad that she thinks things are going to be hunky dory with the family while she does this to my brother. I don't think so. I am not looking forward to her being at family events these next few weeks. I am not looking forward to pretending all is normal when I have lost respect for her. Their kids don't know yet. It breaks my heart.

I am not a big enough person to still be friends with her when I can't respect what she is doing. I will miss her and who they were together. I will miss holidays untainted by the difficulties of divorce. We had it good up until now. I'm not sure I'm equipped for the bumpy ride that is coming. I pray for my brother that he continues to show the class he has been showing. I admire and respect him more than ever. He is a great guy. I used to think he picked a great gal. Ugh. Divorce sucks. I am not mature enough to be the bigger person today.