Grateful For.....

Grateful For.....

Here is the list I was making of things I'm grateful for. I started this list when I started working with my Dad almost 2 years ago. I'd add things here and there.... At first it was going to be a Christmas present for my Mom, then it was for Mom and Dad, then it was for Mother's Day(but still for Dad too), then it was for their anniversary (would have been their 40th May 22) because I forgot to print it again this year. There was no rush to give this gift, we had all the time in the world. Each time I almost gave it I wondered if they would think I was a sentimental sop. Then I knew they would love it -- though I was shy and embarrassed for some reason to show my feelings.

I didn't get to give it to her. When she got sickI told her about it and how the list had grown so much. I'd written, revised, combined, added, deleted... I told her how I wished I'd given it to her last year. She thought it was a thoughtful idea. She didn't know how hard I'd worked on it... but that's okay. I couldn't read them to her when she was sick, it just felt wrong and like that would be for me and not for her. She didn't feel well after the surgery and couldn't have long conversation. Thinking was sometimes hard -- trying to remember things would wear her out. So I sat there saying Hail Mary's wanting to say so much, but just telling her how I loved her.. Sometimes I think about giving it to my Dad. He isn't ready yet. Everything is still too raw.

Here is my list. My goal was one per week for them to open -- I was to print it, cut them apart and fold them up separately. Then they would pick one each week to read. I know Mom knows my heart was in the right place. I know she appreciated the thought despite the failed execution. It just makes me sad to think she never got to read them.
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Mom – I am grateful for the hours of labor you went through to bring me into this world (and the discomfort of pregnancy you went through). Dad – I’m grateful that you kept Mom sane prior to and after my birth – having been a pregnant woman I know I was not always easy to deal with so you may have had similar challenges with Mom!!

I am grateful for the many hours you spent in the car getting us all to soccer, piano, gymnastics, scouts, and school events. I’m grateful for the activity rich childhood and memories you gave me!

Thank you for letting us in your car after muddy soccer games and messy ice-cream cones. Sure, we did our best to minimize damage, but you still didn’t sweat it too much (which is more than I can say for me at times!).

I’m grateful for the experience of having pets as a child. Fish dying taught me that life can end. Losing the dog taught me the importance of safety of others over my personal desire. Because I took care our cat taught me to nurture and love (even if smelly). Having Abbey in our family brought me joy through the years. Having to feed her and clean the litter box taught me responsibility (a very hard lesson for me!).

I’m grateful for patience and help with my homework. Now that I have a stubborn daughter I have some concept of what you went through with me! Thank you for the many revisions that you had the patience to make with me. Thank you for providing a computer – papers on a typewriter were a lot harder to write!

I am grateful for my siblings! I love having them in my life! Even though we often fought as kids, I have always had someone to turn to and talk to whenever needed. I’m grateful that any time in our lives that we kids wanted to talk to you, you always made the time (even when it wasn’t convenient). I always have known that I can talk to you both about anything serious. You have ALWAYS been there for us.

I’m grateful for the safety of our homes and the neighborhoods we lived in growing up. Making my mortgage payment I think about the sacrifices you made to give us that home – and the sacrifices made so that one parent could stay home with us! I had a security that many of my friends did not have. I am very grateful for this.

I’m grateful for my faith. Going to church was not optional. Your strength of faith has always been a great example for me. Without faith I would not have hope. Seeing your examples through the years has ingrained faith in me. This has been a huge comfort to me during my hardest and most frightening times.

I’m grateful for the trips to the eye doctor and for the glasses you got for me. I have long since overcome the ONE bad style that we selected together (who could forget the octagons?). When money is tight this is a big added expense – thank you for always taking care of this for me without annoyance or complaint. I’m grateful to you both for making me keep the patch on my eye when I didn’t want to. I’m grateful for the effort you made to keep me from having eye surgery for crossed eyes. I owe you my vision!

Thank you for the trips to the orthodontist. The journey to and from school and the hours spent in the waiting room are STILL appreciated! The nagging to keep rubber bands on was worth it! I have had so many compliments through the years on the straight teeth that fill my smile. Thank you for making this a priority – I felt SO much better about myself when the braces finally came off!

Thank you for back to school shopping. Despite my protests on making the trips, I always enjoyed starting each new year fresh. It was always fun to try the things we purchased on as we tried to decide what to wear the first day. I will never forget my kindergarten potato dress! That picture is still the best I ever took! Looking back at the first day pictures I have nothing but good memories. You always made this day a big event for us – and kept it fun when we were nervous about new teachers.

I’m grateful for my audience! Whether it was a school play or neighborhood 4th of July parade, you were always there to cheer me on. I loved performing knowing the praise I would get for my fantastic move on the backyard monkey bars. Who could forget your cheers during our backyard Olympic gymnastic performances? Oh the leotards with the numbers on our backs! We were styling!

I’m grateful that you fought for us. Not every parent would meet with school personnel to walk distances on a busing issue. If I was ever wronged I always knew I could come to you to make it right. Knowing I had your support helped me have confidence. You didn't fight over the dumb stuff parents fight for today... you always knew and showed us what really matters.

I’m grateful for you standing behind me to get into a Catholic high school (when the testing showed I just might not have been applying myself). My education has been the foundation of my learning and confidence. I learned so much there. I can’t imagine not having this experience – and to know when I was so young that “one day a woman in this room will be President of the United States!” (This is what we were told in the first assembly I ever attended). My high school built confidence and character – both have served me well.

I am grateful for the trips to Lake Ann. I cherish the memories of fishing, waterskiing, smores, campfire pies, walking in the woods, dinner nights hosted by different families and Bob falling into that water off the dock just before we were to leave for home.

I’m grateful for mystery trips. I will never forget white water rafting – that is one of those things everybody should do at least once in a lifetime! Nantucket look like your lobster – my photography at it’s best! Having THE DAD’s crest the hill to the beach to claim the teenage daughters – too funny! Nashville and the wig competition! I enjoyed all of these trips so much. I also appreciate the closeness this gave me to the other family's kids – they are true friends to me whom I know will be lifetime friends.

I’m grateful for my bike. I loved that red schwinn! I loved it all the more when you enhanced it with the flowered banana seat and basket! When I was older I got the ultra cool 10-speed. It was the best thing to ride the neighborhood alone with my thoughts when I was mad or frustrated (what middle child isn’t?). I loved the freedom to go where I wanted (swim club, friend’s houses). I appreciate that you made me contribute. The bike represented the first big thing I’d ever saved for – this made me value it all the more.

I appreciate the endless hemming. I never stopped being short and you never stopped having to sew because of it. THANK YOU! My limited sewing experience has taught me to appreciate this all the more!

I’m grateful for the coolest Halloween costumes ever! The soup can! Need I say more?

I’m grateful for the piano lessons. I know I didn’t practice enough, and I know I complained a lot. I learned enough to help my love of music to grow. I appreciate that I can read music when I sing ….. maybe someday I’ll take up another instrument… maybe…. Oh – sorry about the song flute days! I now realize that must have been really hard to take.

Thank you for being my back up when I babysat. I appreciated it that you were just a phone call away to give me advice. I appreciate you coming to my rescue with the infant that cried for so many hours straight! Talking to you about how to handle things always calmed me and built my confidence. Taking me for babysitting lessons at the library helped a lot too! The skills I learned then have helped me with my own kids (good thing I got some practice!).

I’m grateful for being read to. I know my love of reading came from this and your examples of your love of reading. The daily newspapers helped me explore my world. I’m grateful for the big words and dictionary look ups! Thank you for teaching me not to be lazy in my reading or writing!

Trips to Chicago. Taste of Chicago. Cubs games. Cousins. Museums. The Shed Aquarium. Drives down Lake Shore Drive. Visits to grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends. Riding a big wheel at the Burkes. Playing cards at Grandma’s. Singing in the car. Getting lost in the toll way. Looking for license plates from different states. Slug bugs.

I’m grateful for my love of theatre. Annie, Oklahoma, and the Nutcracker at Christmas with the ladies. We felt special in our dress clothes and coats. Watching a story come alive before my eyes. I appreciate that you went to the expense – it was worth it! Mom – it was fun to see you Usher for the Fischer. Again you showed by example that sometimes you can be creative to get what you want (in this case to see shows!).

I’m grateful for the lessons in money management. Allowance, working for Dad's company, earning money to go away to college, recorded debt with payback schedule – all of these things taught me about earning and managing money. Knowing the value of money, and knowing how to save for big items helped me a lot. I appreciate everything you have given me – but I also really appreciate you teaching me how to earn it myself. I look at friends with massive credit card debt and am grateful for what you taught me. THANK YOU!

I’m grateful for Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. I’m impressed you never got caught red handed. Tooth Fairy is an especially tough act to pull off – but it sure did add excitement to losing teeth. I appreciate the wonder of it all – the anticipation was always so fun! Sneaking to see the tree Christmas morning…. Searching the house and not finding a thing --- wow were you good!

Music: Piano lessons, Helen Ready, Simon and Garfunkel, Neil Diamond, Billy Joel. Watching Mom put of music with a strong beat to clean the house – know that this has helped me slog through endless house cleaning Saturdays.

Thank you for teaching me how to write drafts upon drafts to get a paper done right (without making me feel dumb). My love for writing and patience for multiple drafts came from this. Going off to college I had a huge advantage over my peers because I had learned writing skills in high school. Holding my feet to the fire when I procrastinated taught me a ton as well. A deadline is a deadline. This has again helped me time and time again. Even now as I go back through classes – I don’t put things off the way I used to so long ago.

First Communion dress, prom dress, dress clothes, formal winter coats – none of these came cheap, but you always came through. Even now, the dress coats and outfits for me kids are so appreciated! The quality and taste have been 2nd to none. I know my kids feel just as special as I always did in my “dress clothes.”

I’m grateful for my wedding. Thank you for putting this on for us. Thank you for making me feel so special – shopping for dresses, planning details, walking down the aisle (with Dad holding me steady as I got a little teary!). Thank you for putting up with me freaking out over silly things! Thank you for helping me have a fun AND classy wedding!!!!

Childbirth. Thank you!! Mom – you do not begin to know how important it was to me to have you there. I was so scared and you were so calm. You were a great comfort to me when I was in so much pain. When complications came along during pregnancy you always were there to keep me calm and reassure me. Both you and Dad are my emotional anchors (yes, Tim is too) and I appreciate it.

Dr. Mom – Thank you for putting up with me calling you on every medical thing a person could ever think of! I know I have put you through the paces of your knowledge base, but you have come through every time. Most of all I needed have needed reassurance and you always have given it. If you didn’t know what to tell me you always pointed me in the right direction. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the original call you made when I needed a cardiologist. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

Financing. Dad, I am grateful for all of your sound advice. It is hard to jump into a home purchase – your guidance on “growing into the payment” worked. I’m so glad you gave me the courage to go with more house. Your advice made such a difference. I am so grateful for both of you signing for our house. We are so happy here – I know you got paid back quickly, but I never could have done it without you. Thanks for putting up with me when I called you during dinner in Georgia. Moving fast made the difference. Solid financing got our offer through when there was another on the table for more money. We love our house and the fact we found a bigger one we could afford in the town we want to be in. We love it here and I’m so grateful to you for helping make this happen.

The Emergency Room: Thank you for taking me so many times to emergency and urgent care. Thank you for calming me as I packed up my own kids so many times. Thank you for sitting with me the long hours and for making me go to the hospital when I didn’t want to after my accident (and after the blood clot). Thanks for sitting through procedures! I appreciate your patience and all of your support!

Thank you for my elementary school trip to the cider mill. I will never forget the fun of having the horse pulling the car out of the mud – with us in the car no less!

Friendships. I’m grateful that you have shown my through example that friendships are life long – and that you can’t have too many friends. Seeing the gourmet group, church, and neighborhood friendships blossom and stay strong for you both has made me appreciate that you have always made friends an important part of life. Both of your big birthday parties were so much fun for so many reasons. Seeing people come from all over was great. I love the memories of both of your surprised faces – not to mention the Bob faces!

Thanks for teaching me how to do the laundry RIGHT. I will explain this no further.

Car Rides: How I remember the drive down Six Mile to the bend at Northville Road to see the color of the fall leaves. Driving through old towns just to look at houses. I remember getting my first car (remember the green Toyota I bought for $195???) and feeling the freedom of being able to move about in MY OWN car. It made me think back to the rides of my childhood – like when we would be sitting in the back of the wagon waving like fools at the people behind us. Though I can’t drive like I used to, I can still enjoy Hines Drive on a fall day. This will ALWAYS remind me of being a kid.

Thank you notes. I now realize the torture you went through training us kids to have manners. I appreciate learning the importance of thank you notes early. I’ve put my thanks in writing for many different reasons (favors, great service, training) and I know it means a lot to get a heartfelt thanks.

THANKS for teaching me the importance of THANKS! I still remember the Thanksgivings when we had to say what we were grateful for – hokey to some, but worth the exercise as it makes you appreciate what you have.

Lists. Thank you for showing by example the importance of lists. The steno pad lists of my childhood serve as a great example. I’ve learned that having a list when I grocery shop saves me a ton of money. All of my organizers through the years have been my own version of the steno pad lists. I love the satisfaction of crossing off tasks from my list! I always accomplish more when I make a list. My writing is always better when I list out my ideas first. Lists. Love em!

Common Sense: Dad always said we were lucky to have common sense and that when we got out into the real world we would be shocked at how few people have common sense. I thought both of you said this just to make us feel good. I now know that what you said is so very true! Common sense comes down to thinking things through and having a good moral compass. Thank you for teaching this through example.

Holidays. Silver baby cups and china are what come to mind when I think of Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner. Setting the table, polishing the silver, celery and olives, cranberry trays – all these things bring to mind the family holiday dinners we grew up with. These meals were always special. I appreciate it that you never freaked out when we got things on the table cloth. Proper table manners isn’t always an easy thing to teach, but you did it. On formal occasions I’ve always had the basic skills to keep me from feeling stupid – knowing what to do helped me and my friends. Thank you!

Hot Chocolate. I remember sledding trips to Hines Park and at the golf course. Long underwear, pants, snow pants, a couple of shirts, 2 pairs of socks, boots, winter jackets, 2 pairs of mittens, hats, scarves, and more we wore! I do not know how you got us all out the door – and how you got all of our gear dry again so we could go out again and again. Coming home to hot chocolate – how Norman Rockwell can you get? I remember learning how to shovel so that we could build snow forts. Snowmen and snowball fights – we always had hot chocolate on hand to warm us after. I even remember times with cookies the size of pizzas. How fun!

Ballet. I felt beautiful and graceful as the blue bird in my recital. I felt so special!

I’m grateful for your attending school conferences and meetings. You were always there. I’m grateful that you always dressed up and made these things important as a result. Even when it was a torture you went. I appreciate you making this a big important deal – it made me value my education in the long run even if I didn’t always at the time!

On time. I’m grateful you got me EVERYWHERE on time! Despite my slow pace you hustled me and made it happen. It was hard to tell the last few years, but I really do value timeliness. We are getting better though! Thank you for always getting me there on time so that I never missed a thing!

Thanks for getting the Macintosh computer vs. a typewriter. Learning to use a computer so young in my own home made the machine a whole lot less intimidating to me. This was a huge advantage in high school, college, and in my career. I appreciate that I really don’t fear technology. Pete’s generation (close behind mine but so different) views technology as a total breeze. Some people my age have never felt that way. Thanks for letting us learn on that expensive machine!

I’m grateful for your prayers. I appreciate you praying for me when I have had tests, speeches, interviews, and big presentations for work. I appreciate service intentions on Wednesdays. I appreciate your faith and how you have passed it on to me. I am thrilled to see my kids pray when they hear an ambulance – I love that they have learned to care for people they don’t even know. I learned this from you….. look how your actions carry on!

Thank you for encouraging me into the arts. Thanks for encouraging me in photography. I enjoy taking pictures so much – and looking at them brings me much pleasure. Thanks for getting a camera in my hands young and for getting a really good one in my hands when I was in college.

Aggression Cookies and popcorn – I love them both! I told myself I wouldn’t list food in my grateful for list, but darn it I love them! It must be genetic… my kids love them too. Making the cookies together is a thrill.

Thank you for early gormet training. Allowing me to experiment in the kitchen while I dreamed of being a pastry chef was very generous (as I used up so many ingredients learning to make a triple fudge cake and the perfect fudge. Thanks for encouraging me with magazines and for making me clean up my own messes. I still love making fun foods!

Thank you for a shoulder to cry on whenever I’ve needed it.

I’m grateful for my cladaugh ring. Since I got it this ring has always been on my hand. It reminds me of who stands behind me in life and where I came from. Of all the things I own, this is one of my most treasured. 19 years now…. Wow….

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I'm grateful that my Mother taught me how to face illness and death with grace and dignity. I'm grateful she taught me not to be bitter in the face of a missed diagnosis that cost her her life. I'm grateful that she taught me how to accept the unacceptable and to pray in the face of horror. I'm grateful that I was with her when she passed and that the good Lord gave me the strength to tell her to go. I'm grateful that through all of this I have grown to love and appreciate my father so much more. I'm grateful that I have the chance to live each day as a better person than I was before. I'm grateful for my husband, family, and friends.

Life is good. I must remember this each day -- especially the days I have regrets and miss my Mom.