It has been a rough few weeks but the sun is starting to peak through the clouds. I am trying to keep depression and anxiety at bay. Things are hostile more often than not at work -- not the family, the others I deal with. Compliance monitoring does not have to be a personal and negative thing, but some choose to make it so. How sad for them that they choose misery over making the best. I am sick of the people who choose misery. Life is too freaking short -- how can they not get that?

School is interesting but I bombed my exam yesterday. I very much wish I could take more classes and work less. I can't wait to get out of this field and into teaching. At least with students I can make a difference, most are pretty positive people, and periodically I will actually improve and impact someone's life by giving them encouragement! How exciting is that? To encourage and help youth reach for their potential. Can't wait. Wish I was there now.

My kids are well. We have been having good chats and trying to stay positive despite the fact I can't be real active right now (my hip, knee, ankle and heel are toast at the moment -- incoming cold weather is not helping). I even had a chat with hubby about the yelling and about how he needs to be more positive with the kids. He is trying and it shows -- much less tension at home the last few days. May that continue please God.

I bought another lotto ticket for Friday. I would love to be a stay at home mom and student for 2 years and then start highschool just before my kids. I would pay off debt and set aside $ for my kids education. That is all I would want. I don't need fancy stuff -- just give me security and basics. I'd love the freedom to pursue my certification full time.

Wish I didn't have a short fuse right now. Pain does that to me when it is bad. I blew up at a woman from work. Took 2 years for her craziness to get to me, but it did. I hate when I give unreasonable people power over me by reacting to their craziness. Damn!!!

Oh well. Saw the doctor and will be working on the pain stuff with him. He is a specialist -- gave me an injection in the knee which heart like hell. Hopefully it will help.

May today bring us peace when we do not expect it.