Today we went to Dad's house. My sister tried to get out of it yesterday, but I held her feet to the fire. She wanted to have someone join us in the task of cleaning out my Mom's clothes. My attitude was "That's fine, but let's at least get started." I asked that we just go there and do the easy stuff. Like getting rid of my Mom's shoes for instance. My Mom wore a 9 and a half narrow shoe. Not many women wear shoes that size, but my mom did. She had GORGEOUS shoes. 3 garbage bags of gorgeous shoes. Some needy person will be thrilled when they discover the beautiful shoes we are donating. I would nearly kill for shoes of that quality and style. WOW did my mom have great taste!

So I went to Dad's at 2:00 as scheduled and planned. My sister didn't show until about 2:20 -- no calls, no apologies. We were raised to value promptness so this was kind of annoying. I decided to bite my tongue and rise above it (a huge accomplishment as would be attested to by anyone who knows me!). My Dad was cute in that he decided to kind of take charge. He told us that he would like it if we cleaned out the 2 dressers (one normal, one was a lingerie dresser) as well as perhaps the closet. My sister had committed to 2 hours and we didn't think it likely that we'd finish -- but we decided to give it a try.

The nightstand and dresser went quickly with the exception of the costume / cheap jewelry. Too many memories.... we decided to save them for another day. With the clothing it was easy to take things for me since my Mom's size was closer to me than my sister. I have some weight to lose, and now even more motivation as my Mom had some REALLY nice clothes! It wasn't creepy or sad. All three of us kept commenting on how pretty this or that was, and what great taste Mom had. She really had so much class and style.

I never thought you could own too many turtlenecks to carry you through our cold winters, but I might have been wrong. There were a hell of a lot of turtlenecks. I took every darn one of them! The difficult thing was the dressy purses. My sister and I both wanted the one purse we both loved from when we used to try on the white gloves in my Mom's nightstand drawer. She had all these dressy gloves that we'd put on and pretend we were at tea. Or, we'd pretend to be royalty. The dressy purses were tiny and kept in the same drawer. I can't believe she let us play the way we did in that drawer -- but she did. We loved it and played there often. She even let us play with her purses when we played dress up. I let Kathleen have the one we both treasured most. I felt good about this because she knew it was a sacrifice. I kept a few -- but she got the ONE. I'm okay, really. (Though now I'm thinking about getting white gloves and fancy long black gloves just so my daughter can have the splendid moments of wonder if she tried them on for size).

I would have been able to use this sacrifice as leverage in the future, but unfortunately I backed into her car as we were pulling out of Dad's driveway later. The bags in the back of my car admittedly obstructed my vision and I thought she already had backed out, but she hadn't. OOPS. She joked the car now has a blow hole in the bumper. It was pretty much punched in like a blow hole on a whale. She'll be able to hold this over me for life. This has lessened her guilt about the purse sacrifice I made, so she claims we are even. After the beer my Dad bought us I mustered the courage to say that the bumper will be fixed or replaced, she still will have THE purse. She kind of growled at me. Hey -- she got THE purse. It was agreed upon that I could visit it and borrow it. I also made her agree that if she never has a daughter that she will pass it on to my daughter. She agreed. Hey -- you would not believe what a cute purse it is! (Okay, maybe the sentimental value is greater than the reality. I'll admit it).

My sister encouraged me to take my Mom's robe saying she'd never wear it. I thought I wouldn't either -- but I love it!!! I'm wearing it now and it is awesome! It is warm and super comfortable. No wonder she liked this type of robe! I get it now!!!! It feels like a great big hug. That is what is great about the clothing that fits me and that I'm keeping -- I feel like they are a great big hug from her.

My Dad was really thrilled that my sister and I took things for ourselves. He said she always had great taste and that our taking things showed that she was able to pass that on to us. He said he was glad we inherited good taste :) He is thrilled we are taking things, and that thrilled me since I thought he might be sad about it. I could not have been more wrong. We have a lot more to go through, but he is encouraging us to take whatever we want now or could use later. I'm so glad today went well. I know it is part of healing. I miss my Mom so much, but she will always be with me in so many ways. Having a few of her things is nice. My sister didn't like her perfume so I took it. I don't know that I'll wear it, but smelling it was wonderful -- so many good memories. My kids smelled it tonight when I came home and they just smiled. It seems they are like me too, they find comfort in the memories instead of the pain.

So here I sit in her robe.
Comfortable.
Warm.
Grateful.

I'm so grateful I got to had her as my Mom.