Today is 2 weeks without smoking! I am also not drinking to fall asleep anymore. This should have resulted in weight loss, but it has not. How sad. I would not complain if a few pounds decided to leave me!

So yesterday I absolutely freaked out about tomorrow's biopsy. I fear melanoma for a good reason. I went to high school with a gal who passed away last summer. It was less than 2 years since her diagnosis of melanoma and she left behind a 9 year old and 6 year old. I admit it, thinking about that just puts me in the fetal position. I don't have life insurance (due to the stroke and heart surgery these last few years). Obviously they'd get my 401K, but besides that my family would be in it deep. I wonder if they would get survivor benefits from social security?

I think I'd freak out less if this mole wasn't on my face. It has "pigment leaking" which means the color of the mole is spreading. The mole is about an eighth of an inch, the spread is a tad more than a quarter of an inch. This mole is on the edge of my left eyebrow. I'm glad the mole isn't super dark, that is reassuring. It is just spreading pigment that freaks my ass out. If you read up on melanoma at all it freaks you out. So the biopsy is tomorrow. I wonder how long it will be before I hear anything.

My husband is freaking out too. He didn't freak over the stroke, or the blood clot, or the car accident, or the heart surgery, or when I had issues during pregnancies and had to be hospitalized. He didn't go with me on appointment for various things, but he has cleared his schedule so he can be there. Anyway, I don't care too much about the ugly scare, I just hate looking in the mirror right now because all I can see if my questionable mole.

I can't wait for this to be over with. I have a test today which will be a bit of a joke since my focus appears to just be on my mole. Oh well.