Ahhhhhh..... My frantic brain is settling down. What a relief!

This morning my brain was racing and was making all these little things seem so big. I went to the chiropractor at lunch and am SO happy to have had some pain relief. I was in a worse place than I thought. I don't always realize when pain is making me crazy -- not until I have relief and then I think "Wow, I was in worse shape than I thought!"

It seems strange not to know your pain is bad -- but mine is a nerve problem that effects so much area that I just feel emotional and balled up when it hits a certain level. There is so much noise from the pain that you get to where you can not hear it. It is like when you are peacefully reading a book in a busy airport. There is a ton of loud stuff going on around you but you are not hearing it.

Sometimes the pain shouts all around me but I don't realize that it is the source of my nagging tiredness, depression, irritability, and lack of patience. It is like struggling for air but not realizing someone is strangling you. Then I get blessed relief and I'm shocked by how much better I feel -- I didn't realize that I felt THAT bad. But now with the comparison I realize that I was in bad shape and now I'm in better shape.

Tonight M has soccer practice but I don't know if that is going to happen with her allergies kicking her butt like this. She woke me up at 4am because her head hurt and her throat hurt from the drainage. I'm hoping she is better today now the we have given her allergy medicine. Hopefully it is just allergies!

My goals for the rest of today are:
- Survive work.
- Get daughter to practice.
- Hold sacred our dinner hour.
- Read before the kids go to bed.
- Walk the dogs even if just around the block.
- Start final exam paper.
- Not smoke for another day (it has been a week and a half)

By setting small goals I may just avoid the depression nap attack. What is it that makes naps seem like the best idea in the world?

Must not give in to nap attack... must not!