Look at me posting three times in one morning. Can you tell my mind just won't stop clicking along? Apparently I must process things better when I get them out on paper. The other area of worry right now is my sister. She is in a bad place. She is frustrated because she isn't pregnant. She is mad at her husband and I'm not sure why because she didn't want to tell.

She is a teacher who loves teaching Reading Recovery. Her district is forced to close schools and cut programs due to budget concerns. Reading Recovery is being cut and my sister's school is closing. My sister is going to have to go to an upper elementary school vs. lower elementary, she is going to have to work in a different school. She is being placed so that other teachers can be placed in classrooms where they can do the least damage. My sister is getting placed in what is left. Because she is dependable and adaptable she is being taken advantage of and has been for several years.

My sister does not realize that this is what happens in the business world all the time -- she thinks this is just what happens in her school district. I just could not break it to her. I don't know how to help her and I can't stand being exposed to her because she is SO very bitter right now. I had gained hope that she was shocked out of her "all about me" selfish state and grief. She said it herself. But right now she is back in it and is deciding not to go to my cousin's wedding. This isn't right. She wants to justify it 7 ways from Sunday, but the point is that this is likely the last cousin wedding. To miss this one is a mistake.

She's flipping that her husband's house has not sold and that he may lose his job at the end of June. You know my perspective -- welcome to my world sister! Welcome to real life! Suck it up. Dump the house. Lose the money and move on -- this is better than being tortured day in and day out by the uncertainty and fear. I'll take certain debt over looming uncertainty thankyouverymuch. At least you know what you are dealing with when you have the certain debt vs. the maybe debt. The sooner you accept it the sooner you can progress to fixing it. Waiting and worrying isn't going to help in this economy. They are not going to get what they would have out of that house 2 years ago and they need to accept it and move on. One weekend wedding is not going to be what tips the scales of certain debt.

It's not like I can afford to go! So I go deeper in debt. I'm pretty much over that -- we are talking pennies vs. pounds. In the big picture attending one wedding will not tip the scales of financial doom.

Most people go through stages where they hate their jobs. Most people go through stages of financial crisis. Lots of people don't get pregnant when they first try. She has to realize this stuff happens in life but she just doesn't get it. She views these crisis situations as the end all. I can't help her and listening to her bitter rants sucks the energy and life out of me. I just
can't bring her back from the anger and I can't ease her pain. She is like a flame thrower burning everything around her. I fear she is doing this to her husband. How can their marriage last if this is how she treats him. I hope not!

I miss my sister. I miss when she was not bitter. She used to be bitter about love, then she met her hubby and that was fixed. She used to love work and now she is bitter about that (since the straw appears to have broken the camels back in this area). I miss the days before her heart was broken by C. Before him she didn't have this depth of bitterness and venom. I miss my sister so much. She used to be my best friend. She used to be fun to be around. Now she is bitter and judgmental. Oh how I miss my sister.