My sister seems to have been shocked out of her funk. She commented on how she had nothing that pulled her from it prior to the death of her close friend's daughter. Now she is so focused on trying to be there for this friend that she is forced to put someone ahead of herself. I'm shocked in how different it is to talk with her and to be around her. Prior to this weekend I was at my wits end with her -- to the point where I could not stand being around her. My close friend thinks I was being driven away by the never ending pity party she was having for herself. I think she may be right.

My sister and I went shopping over the weekend. She really appreciated it since she knows I HATE SHOPPING. I HATE shopping because I worked in retail management for over 10 years. There comes a point where this makes you hate the public. I'm there. I like people I know, but I do not like the public or crowded events. If that makes me more evil please charge me with the crime -- I'm guilty as sin.

Anyway, I had decent conversations with her and it wasn't all about HER. She has even said that she thinks this event has shocked her out of her personal grief. She realizes there is more to the world than herself. You have to look for the small blessings. This is one very small blessing. The other is that everyone in the community has been forced to stop and think about our own mortality. Somehow when you do this you find yourself making better decisions -- from the little choices we make daily to the big choices that change lives.

Tonight is the wake. I hope the family finds comfort -- I know my mother's wake was a great comfort to us. It is very overwhelming to realize how many lives your loved one touched. Overwhelming in a good way.

I was told by Jessica's mother to keep my eyes open for signs of God's mercy and love right after her death. The priest who gave my Mom's blessing said "God is always with you and God is always loving you." He said that to this family as well. I'm not a holy roller, but I do find my faith has been strengthened through the hard times. I believe that faith pulls you through that which you can not bear.