I asked.

I did it! I'm so proud of me! I talked to my Dad about a subject I was dreading!

Saturday my Dad invited us over for dinner after Wonder Boy's soccer game. He had made baked potato soup. He was trying out a recipe for his dinner group -- they are having a soup night later this month. I love how my Dad has kept up with all of the social groups he and my Mom were always participating in. On top of being awesome parents and grandparents they partook in book clubs, movie clubs, dinner club, library volunteer work, church volunteer, city political groups, and more. Dad has stayed active in everything and keeps tight with the social network my Mom used to force him into. They embrace him and hold him close. They make him less lonely.

So back to Saturday. Hubby had a headache and the kids and I went for dinnerwithout him. Not only was the soup delicious, the presentation was fabulous. He garnished it with cheese, bacon, and green onions chopped. Hello, yum! We had a pleasant meal and cleaned up the mess together. I complimented the recipe and just prior to leaving I tackled a topic that has been eating me for a good year.

I told him that for my birthday, I would like Mom's wedding band. I want the old one she wore when I was a kid. It is plain and thick. Platinum and gold. I recall hearing that ring click on the formica when she would fold the laundry on the kitchen counter. I remember the rhythmic click as she folded for our family of 6.

When I see her hands in my mind, I see this ring on her hand. In recent years my Dad took the diamond that was passed down on my mother's side and set it into a new wedding band. This wedding band has smaller diamonds in it and it is stunning. Mom wore it every day in recent years. I don't want that wedding band. I want the plain band that I can still hear clicking on the counter.

It fits my middle finger on my right hand. It would look nice there next to the claddagh ring I got from my parents when I was 16. I tried it on the day we sorted Mom's things. My sister asked me to try on the diamond, and I told her no -- that would be her ring because it was to be passed on to the first daughter. She told me she already had a nice diamond and that I could have the diamond wedding band, she liked the old one. (I have a diamond that is nice too, I tried not to let her comment feel like a snub).

I told her it was sad that we both loved the same things. I said it sincerely and I meant it. I am sad that we are emotionally attached to the same things. I also wasn't going to tell her to take what she wanted. I felt she needed to follow Mom's wishes.

Anyway, that day my Dad told us where he kept the key for the place where he locked up Mom's fine jewelry. There isn't a ton, but she had some nice items. He said we should split everything -- just my sister and I, this is what Mom would have wanted. I agreed. My sister voiced the opinion that the sister inlaws should be included. Dad and I looked at her like she was looney. We dropped it.

The jewelry has not been mentioned again. This was hard for me. I wanted the old wedding band and felt it was silly to have this stuff set aside. I certainty didn't want to have it sit there until my Dad passed away. How horrible would that be? He said she'd want us to have it. I agreed. Waiting is a waste. Why not wear it and remember her? Wearing her band would make me smile every time I glanced at it. It would make me think of them both and their love. They have always been that example of an amazing marriage.

So yesterday I asked Dad for the old wedding band. I told him I wanted it and that whatever he decides is fine. He told me my sister wants the band too. I said, "I know. Whatever you decide is fine. I just don't think we should keep waiting. I think it would be nice to wear a ring and think of her. I don't mind what you decide, I just want it decided." He said he thought we should talk to my sister and I agreed. He said the jewelry should go to my sister and I. I agreed.

I want the old band and feel it is important to follow Mom's wishes on the oldest daughter diamond thing. At this point I don't want to fight, I just want it decided. If anything happened to Dad, I fear my sister would make this a fight. I really don't want a fight, I want a ring to wear daily.

I want to look at my hand and see her hand upon it. I want to feel her holding my hand. When I touch her ring I will feel her there. I want this decided. It isn't about the value. It is about being able to wear something daily that was a part of my Mom.

The diamond setting might be a bit much for daily wear. The band could be worn all the time. I miss my Mom. It has been a year and a half since she passed. I don't want to wait anymore. Dad seemed fine with us tackling this discussion. He said he just wants it to be fair. I agreed.

Hubby was shocked I brought it up. The kids said I did a nice job. Don't you love when your 9 and 10 year old can give you feedback? I brought it up to Dad while they were there. I didn't want it to seem like a big moment or like I was asking a big question. I just asked. They said I did fine. I think I did too.

I'm so proud of me that I set my fear aside and talked to him. It wasn't as difficult as I'd thought it would be. Now I won't regret not saying anything. I'll be happy with whatever decision he makes. He is wise and will come to a solution on his own. I'm glad and will be grateful no matter what the outcome. Finally I had the guts to ask.

We shall see what happens. My Dad is wise, this will be settled. I'm just glad I don't have to ever look back and regret not asking for what I wanted. I've always walked on eggshells around my sister. I am glad I put my desires out there as equal to her wishes. It is good not worry about sounding selfish. It is good to ask for what you want without fear.