9/11 - I remember...

It is unbelievable to me that it has been 5 years. On September 11, 2001 I was at home watching Good Morning America (or was it the Today Show?). I was getting ready to go to the doctor and was in tremendous pain. I'd been in a auto accident 5 days earlier and was heading to my primary care physician that morning to find out why I was still hurting so much.

I was secretly enjoying my morning despite the pain. It was nice to be home and watching the morning chatter on the TV. Normally I was out of the house and at work by 7-7:30 am on weekdays. It was nice to be home, pretending I didn't have to work. I had made coffee and was sitting down on the couch when the news of the first plane crash came in. I thought "Wow -- what kind of idiot pilot crashes his plane into a big ass building like that?" and "I'm glad it was just a small plane."

Funny how you remember those thoughts. It never crossed my mind that the idiot pilot could be a fanatic that actually intended for this to happen.

I will never forget watching the 2nd plane hit the tower. I will never forget. In the hours that followed I was glued to the set. I watched endlessly the coverage. I cried. I prayed. Being off work recovering from the car accident was not good. I could not stop watching TV. I took my pain medicine, went to physical therapy, and watched TV. I watched more coverage than could be considered healthy.

I remember the fighter jets screaming overhead. I remember the eerie silent skies in the days that followed. The silence of the skies was only broken by the occasional fighter jet. I remember watching the stories about the victims on my TV. I remember watching grieving families weep. I remember weeping with them.

I remember pulling myself together to pick up my kids that day. I was preparing to explain it to them. My daughter had already been told by other 5 year olds in her class for afternoon kindergarten. We got in the car and she asked "Why did the bad men fly the plane into the building?" How do you explain in terms your 4 and 5 year olds can understand? How do you explain to them what you can not understand? My heart broke as I searched for the words.

I pray we have learned something. I pray we can promote peace and work to win over the hearts of those who hate us. I pray our government does not do more harm than good in our War on Terror. I don't like the politics. I don't like the blame games.

I hurt for those who have lost. I hurt for those who are taught to hate. I believe there is hope. I believe there can be peace. I believe that if we work to help people we can bring peace quicker than if we focus on fighting an enemy.

I pray for the victims.

I pray for the families.

I pray for those who hate.

I will never forget.

I am not alone.

There is hope.

There can be peace.

Healing will come, but we will not forget.