The sister....

Thanksgiving was so relaxed without my sister there. She showed up about a half hour before we all left to go home. At that point we had cleaned up everything and were just relaxing. I was able to avoid interaction while not seeming rude. Hurray for small victories!

I am still pretty hurt from a phone conversation my sister and I had on Wednesday. She is making it hard for me to call her -- I've been trying to call and check on her every few days due to her pregnancy. I wanted her to feel cared about and nurtured as she nurtures the new life growing within her. It is hard to nurture a bitch though. She twists things and acts very defensive. She makes accusations and puts you on the defensive. She makes it hard to be there for her.

I'd write it off to hormones, but I admit it -- I'm sick of walking on eggshells with her. She was difficult during Mom's illness and passing. Her wedding followed six months later so we tip toed around her for the next year. Then it was the "I'm getting old and I'm not pregnant" crisis. Now she is pregnant and I am happy for her, but I am sick of her too. She has used up my good will and patience. I've gone out of my way for her for the better part of two years. I have put her needs above mine and I'm tapped out when it comes to patience for her petty bull shit.

Hopefully I will find the strength to plan a baby shower for her. It is so hard to muster the energy to put into doing this for her when she is so mean. She deserves a baby shower. The thing that is hard is that she is all about herself. Maybe the baby will change this. Maybe.

When she was single and had not met Mr. Right she cried when friends got engaged. How could they find love when she couldn't? She would cry for herself instead of celebrating for them. Once she was married it was okay for others to marry, but prior to that she just cried for herself. When they decided to try to get pregnant it was the same story -- she would cry when she would hear others good news. Now she is pregnant, so it is okay for others to be. It is hard for me to be around her because of all of this. I look at her selfishness and see a person I do not want to spend time with.

We hoped she would change when she got engaged. We hoped she'd change when she got married. We hoped she'd change when she got pregnant. Now I'm hoping she changes when she has the baby. I miss the sister I had before she became what she is. She changed 10 years ago after a bad break up. I wish I could have my sister back.