Pajama Day

I drove back past this lake this other day and it was completely frozen over -- someone had even plowed away the recent snow to make a hockey rink. How cool! I'd be afraid to fall through, but my hat is off to you if you know what you are doing on this sort of thing. I fear the freeze and thaw cycles that come with unpredictable weather.

Thanks for the prayers folks! I broke down in tears at the office yesterday in front of Dad and the brothers. They had no idea I was so stressed out. It was a relief to share the burden and my fears in terms of having it take another year before I can become a teacher. My poor Dad said just the right thing to me and I started shooting tears like Demi Moore in Ghost.

Dad and my brothers were so supportive. They were genuinely bummed out for me that I have to take these extra classes. They asked me what they could do to help me and I said pray, because I'm going to try and get someone to sign off or allow independent study -- but if I don't get that I'm basically screwed. The classes I need to take before student teaching are only offered in the spring (none in summer), and one is only offered during the day, and both force me to drive to campus twice a week! I said all if this while crying and gasping for breath. It is funny now, it was embarrassing then!

So, they felt really sorry for me and said they'd work around my schedule. I feel bad -- like my crazy tears held them hostage. But, on the other hand, I am relieved. I've been given the go ahead to take the class during work time. The thing is that I rarely ever cry. Especially at WORK! I apologized profusely and they told me to relax, anyone in my situation would be upset. (I'd asked about double majoring and was told not to -- it wasn't necessary. Now with laws changing it really is necessary. Bummer).

The thing is that it has been a really long road of juggling family, health, work, and school. I started taking classes to get my teaching certification in 2001. My classes have been the really easy part. I was in a bad car accident that year and had months of physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pain management treatments. I then had a blood clot and mini stroke in 2002, followed by minor heart surgery to patch a hole in my ticker. My Mom came down with cancer, had surgery, radiation and recovered in 2002. My mother inlaw basically lived in the hospital from 2002 to 2004. My Dad had and aortal aneurysm in 2003 and survived! Cancer came back and took my Mom in 2005 - she was my best friend.

I am blessed in many ways. I have a great family and a good life. But as you can see, it has been a rocky path since 2001 and I was REALLY looking forward to not having classes this spring and summer so I could rest up for student teaching. Finances are a strain since I'm the bread winner. Hubby is trapped in a failing family construction business that he can not leave (it would be abandoning his parents and they would not financially survive it he walked away).

I just want more time with my kids and Hubby. Taking more classes delays my goals and takes time from my family. That is what crushes me most. I will get there. At least spring semester will be over quickly. As you can see, all of the above is what lead to my depressed post the other day. Now you are caught up on the why. I'm better now. I'm tired, but better because I've talked about it.

Now I just need to test out of the two general education classes (history and government), take the 2 spring literature classes, student teach in the fall, take two more literature classes in the winter, take my certification exams for both majors, and then I'll be a teacher.

No problem! At least today is pajama day! I'm not going ANYWHERE! The couch and homework call. Have a good!