A lot going on!

I got the baby shower invites mailed! This was a major accomplishment as I had no committee to help me. In the past my younger brother's wife made the invitations to everything and all we did was address the envelopes and take the cards to the printer. Now that she has cheated on him and filed for divorce I don't feel her art is appropriate for the joyous occasion of a DOUBLE baby shower. My sister is due in June and my older brother's wife M is due in May (she is the one on complete bed rest -- thanks for the prayers! She and baby and hanging in there!).

So the invites are mailed. I'm relieved. I had a really hard time fitting this in with work, school, kid stuff and homework projects. I sent them and the shower is 4/15 -- good enough, right? I'd spread the word on the date... hopefully the ladies don't think I'm horrible for lack of notice. We are having it at my Dad's -- at least I won't have to clean house!

It is awkward to organize this shower as the sister/sister inlaw. My Mom's friends want to have the shower, but nobody had stepped up to be in charge. So, I took charge and am taking all the help I can get! I hope to let everyone else cook.... The shower will be a Sunday Brunch and my sleep clinic night (to get the CPAP machine so I can finally sleep) is the Friday before. The Thursday before I do a teaching lesson for my methods class (it is harder to teach my peers than it is to teach students!). So that week will be hectic.

I still have not heard back on the ultrasound and mammogram. I take this as a good sign, even though my boob still hurts. My period has come and gone, pain was worse with the period so hopefully this is just a hormonal fibroid cystic thing.... but, um -- OUCH.

I'm tired from the lack of sleep so I'm edgy. Pain is worse when you are tense and have not slept. Hate that. Monday will be two years since I lost my Mom. I miss her. When will I stop resenting women who are older than me and who still have their moms? I hate when I see them in public and I'm jealous. I hope this goes away... I don't like it about myself. I understood it the first year that I lost her, but I need to stop being that jealous person. I wish I didn't feel this way. Seeing 4 generations in a family stabs me in the heart -- I'm happy for them, but wish we just had three generations of women. Not having Mom means there is so much wisdom lost. So much perspective. So much love.

I bit off Hubby's head this morning. He was cute -- "So, are you a little tense Honey?" Um, yeah. I have been at the doctor's every week and I'm still overdue to see the eye doctor, gynecologist, and dentist. Wouldn't it be nice if you could take one day and get a tune up on EVERYTHING? I guess it doesn't matter -- I have no money to pay right now anyway. Hubby's work is nonexistent and we are strapped living on my income alone.

The great news is that I have no homework due tonight! YIPPEE!!! I'm hoping today's rain cleans away the remainders of the snow and lets the flower buds free..... my camera begs for something besides mud to look at! I'm ready Spring!! You can come out now!