The good part is that I actually taught an entire class today! The bad part is that my lesson was not supposed to take the whole class period. Oops. I felt so bad for going over. The students lost out on work time for their projects. I felt really bad.
I'm not liking that I was not perfect -- my timing is off and I missed a few hands. I don't have this part down yet and I want it to be PERFECT. What the hell is wrong with me that I expect myself to be perfect? I think it will be easier when I have my own classroom and am working from a semester plan. Walking in and teaching a snippet out of the blue is kind of rough.
I am used to changing gears from Mom to business person, to student, to coach. Shifting into teacher mode is hard because I'm not so used to that role yet. I'm nervous and so my transitions are not smooth. I am happy to report that my rapport and classroom management were fine. I just hate thinking how much better it could be! I was really disappointed. I am being too hard on myself. Of course I was nervous! Of course I am not smooth. I have not even been through student teaching yet. I'm just doing my pre student teaching.
My problem is that my sick mind expects perfection and I'm not happy when I don't deliver it. I don't expect if from others... why am I so mean to myself? My cooperating teacher's feedback was that I have the hard stuff down -- my timing issue (and missing a raised hand!) is part of the "art of teaching" that comes with time and experience. I need to be patient with me.
Am I a typical woman or what??
3 comments:
People only become perfect after they die.
So live imperfect..... and enjoy
Pamela -- you are so right! I lightened up. It is amazing what one day (and a good night's sleep!) can do for my perspective! Thanks for your encouragement!
I hear ya!!! OH do I hear ya. I'm the very same way. Go easy on yourself, girl but rest assured you are a very typical woman!!! We are so freakin hard on ourselves!
I love Pamela's take on it. It's good advice.
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