I went to the 2nd to last grief counseling last night. The topic was guilt -- pretty appropriate for me. I feel guilty that we didn't get to spend more time together between me working, having 2 kids, and going to school. Mom always said we'd have more time later and not to worry about it -- my time would come in the future for us to do lunch and movies and such. I regret not having her and my Dad over for dinner just because I didn't want to have my inlaws over. I hate that I was so petty. I hate that I wasted time keeping score and trying to keep things even. No more.

Today I felt like divine intervention was occurring to show mercy on me. My paper was due today and I didn't do it -- neither did my peers. The professor gave us another week! I also did a "B" on the exam I forgot about a few weeks ago. To add to the small mercy parade my car starter worked today and the lights on the dash came back. The lights have not worked for more than a minute or so for 2 years. The starter has not worked since last winter. I needed mercy today -- I was just so run down and discouraged. Sometimes I think God knows and looks out for you on days like this. I am so grateful for the small mercies. Above photo is my Mom with my kids a few years back. I love this picture. Today I felt like she was helping look over me.