I'm back!

Florida was a welcome relief! We golfed (I don't golf well, but I LOVE to walk around and look at pretty scenery). My daughter is losing interest in golf and that makes me sad. I think it is because there is too much finesse and not enough running for her. My son LOVES it (just like his Dad). Hubby was a little too intense for us -- I made him go out alone to golf so that when he went with us again the intensity was out of his system more. He needed to lighten up quite a bit!

We had the best time at the pool -- never have I experienced such a warm pool! The kids and I played for hours -- only got out to eat lunch and to go to the bathroom. WOW was it fun having them hang off me as I was the ship in the storm that dunked the 3 of us down. I was thrilled to have the energy to play with them. My pain wasn't too bad while we were there -- it helps not driving or working all day! I will admit it -- pain really limits me in more ways than I realize. I'm glad I felt well enough to be so active. It makes me realize on what I miss out on when I don't feel well enough to be active.

My inlaws watched the dogs while we were gone. I'm happy -- both dogs behaved (mother inlaw had the pug, sister inlaw had the greyhound). I need to come up with some kind of thank you gift...

The drive back from Florida was brutal and I'm aching today. Not a big deal and well worth it! I wish I'd remembered to go to my chiropractor appointment today! Whoops! I failed my Linguistics exam prior to leaving town. Tonight I will do that take home portion -- hopefully it will go smoother. The kids will have quite an adjustment getting back to school this week. M's last soccer game is tomorrow and I'll miss a good portion of it due to being at class. Hate that -- I love indoor soccer! Her first reconciliation is coming up too. Busy busy!

I am struggling with depression at the moment and trying to beat it back. I had down time this past week and reflected back on what was happening with my Mom one year ago. I still can't believe she is gone. I thought getting through the first Christmas was the big deal. People said the first anniversary of the death is hard, but I didn't really believe it. It will be one year at the end of this month and I can't get it out of my mind. My problem is that I'm reliving the difficult memories of the sickness and death. Previous to this I was able to focus on the good memories. I need to get back to that.

I miss her so much. Losing her at Easter was a blessing in that it reinforced my faith in eternal life, it is just hard facing Easter again this year at church. It makes me remember how she died on Holy Saturday. It makes me remember seeing her friends at church on Easter and all of us being so lost. As we left mass others entering the church stared as we huddled and friends got the news. There were so many tears. It sticks out to me now -- the memory of confused expressions on the faces of people who didn't know us. Why are these people standing here crying at church on Easter Sunday?

Wow, no wonder I'm depressed! On the flip side, a funny memory of my Mom was at her graduation party when she became an Occupational Therapist. I was in college. Money Money was playing and we were dancing. Everyone was shouting "get laid, get fucked" at the typical moments of this song. Mom leaned over and asked me what everyone was shouting. I told her I couldn't tell her (my siblings and I were not singing this refrain in front of her thinking she'd kill us if we did). She asked again, promised not to kill me, and laughed when I told her. She shrugged her shoulders and then shook her fist in the air to the beat for emphasis as she then sang at the top of her lungs "get laid, get fucked." It was the very first time I'd heard her drop an F-bomb. Mom rocked.