I sometimes wonder.... what is in a name? When I was 11 years old I was in middle school and going through the roughest time of my life. I was a victim of acne, braces, and glasses. I had yet to blossom. I was teased relentlessly and wished for death. The sad thing was that I didn't have the courage to kill myself. I wanted to die, I just hated pain and didn't have access to a method that would not be painful. It was sad at the time, but I thank God for my fear now. I was afraid of pain. I was afraid of nothingness. What if there is nothing after? I couldn't take the leap and my faith in a forgiving God didn't allow me to believe in eternal damnation. I was more afraid of nothingness than damnation at the time...
I knew that I was under appreciated. I was the 3rd of four children so I could not even claim "middle child" as my badge of courage. My sister was perfect, my brothers seemed well adjusted. I was steeped in gloom, irony, and sarcasm. It was then that I came up with the book that would tell MY story. MY story would be called "The Grim Reality." If I made it big (at who knows what) I would put my name in front of the title. If I was still an unknown, I would simply go with my sarcastic title and a simply by line.
Years pass and I am seized with the desire to have my own address on this vast world wide web. I decided to blog (having a hectic life at the time I thought it might be interesting). I stared at my computer screen and could not come up with a clever blog name. Let's face it, I had no idea how much time people seem to put into blog names! I did not read blogs, I just needed a place to vent!
As a result of my utter ignorance, I grabbed onto my middle school book title "The Grim Reality." My book that was intended to be a sarcastic and witty reflection on life. My autobiography maybe? So what do I do? I put the moniker on my blog and choose the black template (you can't say the Irish don't have a rich sense of humor can you?). My idea was to become more optimistic through writing about the crazy simple things in life. If nothing else I looked forward to having a place to vent and post those strange pictures I took that didn't really fit in the family album (who else takes pictures of the buffalo farm?).
As time passes I wonder if I should change the name of my blog. Should I go for something lighter? If so, what? I don't know! What fits me? When I comment on the blogs of others I wonder what they thing of my silly name. I comment as "Grim Reality Girl" because it seems kinder and gentler than "the grim reality." I see harsher connotations in my blog name than I want to broadcast to the world. The world is harsh enough... shouldn't I put an nicer name on my page?
At times when confronted with the uglier facets of society I think I need to make a change. Does my blog name frighten people? Are they afraid to click and see who I am? It makes me feel bad that someone would be afraid to click my silly little link.
So I ask, what is in a name? Is it time for me to change mine? I stand here before you.... what do you think? Please advise me in comments. I'm pondering a name change but lack an idea for what communicates me here on this blog. This blog is where I bear my soul. It is my personal idea laboratory -- I write it out on my screen and process it more clearly in my brain as a result. What is in a name? Should I change mine? Is my blog name due for an update? Your opinion and feedback (or even suggestions!) are welcome!
I am in search of a clever name... I will keep the black simple format. I like it. Pictures look good on the black background.... but the name? Maybe I'm due for change..... Off to drink more coffee -- maybe my inspiration will kick in when the coffee does....
6 comments:
at first i might have associated your name with a less positive outlook -- but as time has gone on and i've read your blog, i associate your name with you! so when i see your name, i think of you, and nothing negative. so my opinion is that you shouldn't change it, because your name has kind of become your brand, and people know you as the grim reality girl.
of course, if you WANT to change it, i can get used to something new. but i like it how it is. :)
i love the black - well my blog is the same! and i love the name. maybe when you comment leave a different name but keep the blog name the same - it has irony and humour and when life really is awful it has reality!
Such a hard question. I sort of like the name because it suggests a certain sense of humor -- which doesn't always have to be light.
I was inspired by your post, actually. I had similar life situation at a similar age. Sometimes I wonder how much all of that has affected me long-term. But not to worry.
I love the name, actually. But yeah... your blog is an expression of who you are. If you feel you need a change, go for it. The name might change, but that sure won't mean you will. Yay!
I'm on my second blog name change in almost four years now. My original online 'nickname' was "Mallard", so my old blog used to be "Mallard's Feathery Nest". But yeah... I got tired of using that name in the end.
"Team Gherkin" aint much better... just something randomly that popped into my head when I started this current blog off. Tis just the nickname for my little sailing dinghy! heh heh. Silly things inspire us somedays.
Whatever you might change things to, you will always be you - and that's what we enjoy best about you - being yourself. Thank you [[[hugs]]]
Cyalayta
Mal :)
I really like the name of your blog ( I thought it was clever and I totally got it) and the way it looks. After hearing how you came to name your blog, the thought that went into it and the history behind it, I like it even more.
However, like everyone else, do what makes you comfortable and feel better.
XOXO
Id like to see something different than black. BECAUSE I have problems reading it. I have to read you on my blogline then click in to comment.
(Combination of Presbyopia and Astigmatism
I guess I'm cozy with the name, tho. If you want to make a positive change tho.. I'd support whatever you decided.
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