Front Porch Stories: W.C.P.

We were driving home from college on break. The drive was a tad over two hours and we'd be home for a week, so we had no choice but to bring home the boyfriend's cat. He lived in an apartment which actually allowed cats so the feline came to school with him. As boyfriend drove, the feline slept in my lap. Suddenly, with no warning or reason, the cat peed on me. Yes, you read that right, that cat PEED on me. Warm cat pee soaked my lap and offended my olfactory senses. I screamed for boyfriend to pull over... he obliged.

We pulled into a truck stop type of gas station. It was barely off the highway and luckily the exit came up quickly. I feared my lunch would come up more quickly; I resisted the urge to roll down the window despite the smell. Had I opened the window, I fear I would have tossed the cat out of that window. I am normally a lover of animals, but this cat PEED in my lap!!

The car rolled to a stop and a dust cloud rolled in with us. I hopped out of the car (tossing the cat into the boyfriend's lap) and ripped my jeans off of my body. Yes, I was then standing in a cloud of dust, in my panties, at a trucker stop. I didn't care.

I must have been a sight to see as I leaned into the back seat and wiped my legs with the nearest article of clothing from my laundry basked (remember taking your mountain of laundry home from college so you could wash it at home vs. the laundry mat?). I wiped my legs and continued to yell at the cat for his evil deed. I yelled at boyfriend as well for good measure. Hello, this was warm cat pee IN MY LAP. I found a dirty (but not pee covered) pair of pants and put them on. While standing next to the car. In the truck stop. In my underwear.

Modesty is not relevant when you have warm cat pee running down your legs.

I'd forgotten this story but it came up for some reason when the kids and I were sitting on the front porch talking about life recently. It is funny to me now but I was FRIED back then! My kids nearly wet themselves as I discussed the warm cat pee drama. They simply could not believe that THEIR MOM had leaped out of the car and stripped off the offending pants at a truck stop. Their mom had stood in her panties wiping cat pee from her legs. They could not withstand the three simple words "warm cat pee" for the rest of the day let alone the week.

Now all I have to say to make them smile is "warm cat pee." I will need to remember this for pictures.....

Amazing the things you talk about when you rock in a front porch rocker.....