And the torch is passed?

I got the call last night. My mom's brother called from out of state and I missed his call. I was shocked -- he never calls. I always am the one who calls him every few months just to check in. I hoped nothing was wrong... and I started dialing. He got to the point right away. He will be sending me some things and wanted to give me the heads up.

Previously I'd expressed interest in the ancestry work he has done. I wanted a copy of the full family tree -- in the back of my mind I will continue the research someday, but for now I was curious about my roots and what is already known. He had sent me the file on email and it was corrupted. I was devastated because I really was interested.

Well, Uncle was calling to give me the heads up that he is sending me the files.... and some other boxes and "stuff." My Uncle is about 65 and in very poor health. He is a very interesting loner character. In the 70s his big pick up line was "Hi, what's your sign?.... Mine is feces." Yes, Uncle has always been full of shit. :-) He has always had a wonderful sharp dry wit.

Uncle was fun. He would work for a few years and take a few years off to loaf and enjoy life. When he ran out of money he'd get a job doing something he had not done before. He hated working and would not do so more than was necessary. As he has gotten older the lack of consistent health care and incessant smoking have taken their toll.

So I told my uncle that delivery guys are good about leaving packages on my porch and not to worry about delivery. Well, it isn't just the files. It is the files and some boxes... and a few tables... maybe a chair.... It won't be coming UPS, some people will bring it. Can he call me in a week or two and can I stay home for a day to take the delivery? I was stunned. Of course I can.

I am one of four children. I have stayed in touch with my Uncle since my Mom passed. I call and leave messages on his voice mail telling him how we all are. I give updates. I worked through him and tracked down my Christening gown that was made from my great great grandmother's wedding dress. My children wore it, my mother wore it -- I wanted my niece to wear it. I'm all about family and tradition.

I have asked questions about his genealogy research. I think this is why this call came to me last night. I am to be the link that continues the story because I value the story that is my family history. I'm the third of four children and it is being sent to me. He is sending all of his family tree files and this other stuff that "you can do with as you wish, have a rummage sale if you want." He is passing on the family things to me to sort through and distribute as I wish. I will not let him down. I will honor the family history and memories. I will tell the stories. I will remember the people.

Shortly after my Mom died, my Uncle said to me "When the people who know you are gone you are truly dead and gone. If someone knows your story you still live on through the stories... but once they are gone so are you. When I go so many will go with me because I'm the last one. Nobody else knew them -- they will all be gone when I am gone."

My Uncle is the last one -- he had no children and neither did my Mom's other sister. My Mom's lone branch lives on through us her children. Now my Uncle is sending me the boxes. He knows it will be hard later because he is out of state, so he is planning ahead and sending the family stuff on now (instead of worry about what might happen later). I admire him for passing this torch -- it is more than thoughtful for a person to take care of things in their life rather than leave loose ends. I am honored to have it passed to me, but I'm sad since I know this is an indicator that he is looking to the horizon. It makes me sad.. I want him to be a bigger part of my life. I am selfish that way.

He is sending boxes that he claims not to know the contents of -- not sure if I believe him. He is frugal; I can't imagine him paying to ship something without knowing the contents of the box. I let him play it off this way though... I will likely do the same thing some day to my kids...

I told him that I'll be calling him for stories when the boxes come. He said to look in the files, the history is there. He is still my loner Uncle -- the stray cat who comes around on his own accord and on his own timing. You can't fence him in or he won't come back.

I will resist the urge to smother him. I wish he was open to being in our lives more, but he is a soul who is independent to the core and who would burden no one. That is how he views it. I will respect his wishes and hope he decides to share more... I love him and hope this will be a start of more interactions instead of the closing of a chapter.

Last night he told me that as a child I drove my mother crazy. Really crazy. I tested her on every level apparently. He said I was one of those kids who tested a parent to the extreme, but who's strength was to be admired. He said she was appalled by and envied my strong will. I was one of those kids you would LOVE as long as you were not the one raising her. "I hope you have one just like you" is what she always said to me. I had two. I credit my Mom for the strength to survive them!

May my Uncle and I have many more great conversations... I will savor this moment and the link he unwittingly gave me to my past. I will wait to hear from him on when the freight company will be coming to town. I will look forward to talking to him again and the excuse the boxes will give me to call him with questions (even if he doesn't pick up the phone and I just leave a message on his voice mail).

I will keep reaching out... I will remember their stories because I will write them down... through me all who came before me will live on... I will not let them be forgotten.