Evil Sister Update

It has been such a long time since I gave an Evil Sister update! I spoke with her last night on the phone as I drove back from class. I enjoyed the conversation (really!).

I was then struck by how STRANGE our relationship has become.

My sister was the official center of the universe during Mom's illness and the time after her passing. Mom passed in March last year and my sister (one year older than I) was to marry at the end of August. So, after a few months of numbness, we put on showers and parties for Evil Sister. We were still sleepwalking through our grief. She was playing the part of Evil Sister, hence then name.

I've been blessed -- you can't stay paralyzed in grief when you have children who depend on you. Having my responsibilities forced me to march on... my sister didn't have that. I wonder if I'd be more like her if I were in her shoes.

Lately I have not seen her in person. Our only interaction is over the phone. This is MUCH better for our relationship. I am much happier. Over the phone she is like the old sister I used to know. She tells me stories, I tell her stories -- we ask for advice, we give advice. We act like normal sisters. It made me remember that she used to be one of my best friends.

I hope this is a true sign that our relationship will heal. The test will come when I see her in person at the family birthday party later this month. We consolidate birthdays in our family and have group celebrations (somehow they all group nicely -- especially now that Evil Sister is included in the September grouping vs. solitary late August celebration).

So, the true test will come in a few weeks at the family gathering. Hopefully she will be the sister I've been chatting with on the phone. I hope she won't be the sister who is needy for attention and who belittles me to make herself feel bigger. Hopefully she is done being the martyr. It will be interesting to see if she attends the same mass as us going forward now that fall is here (we got our heathen behinds back to church Sunday! YIPPEE!!). She has tended to snub us there in the past. We have not seen her there lately.

I hope that Evil Sister becomes a funny name for her more than a truism. She and her hubby are trying to conceive. I wish them the very best. Maybe she will awaken out of the fog of grief into the person she used to be. I'd love to see that sister again... She had the potential to be a great mom. I think she can be if she goes back to being her true self.

Update on "I asked":

Forgive me. There is not much of an update to give. Birthdays are less than 2 weeks away and there has been no mention of the rings since I asked my Dad about them. I know my sister was with him that week -- but I've had no inkling from either of them that the ring situation has been discussed.

I am hopeful that my father is mulling it over and coming up with an amazing and wise decision. I would also hope to know that decision soon -- perhaps by my birthday (10/01). We shall see.

A funny thing -- my kids perspective on things. The told me last weekend that my Evil Sister should not have kids. "She's too old... by the time her baby gets to high school she will be super old." Okay, I am proud I have not told her they said that! My sister is 39. I told them that people have children at 39 these days, but that I'm glad I was still in my 20s when I had them.