Saturday, September 15, 2007

So tired...

Hubby is working the overnight shift. Sleeping without him kept me up, now having him home keeps me up. Strange...... We are both zombies.

Everyone said student teaching wears you out. I am quite worn out. I think student teaching with a family is particularly brutal. Worrying about money, hubby's employment, Super Girl's transition into middle school, teaching, preparation, and everything else is too much right now. I'm just so tired. I can't handle additional obligations right now. The adjustment of getting to work at 6:30am vs. 9am is brutal. I'm simply afraid to sleep. I wake at 5:10 only to discover Hubby hit snooze without ever waking ME. The next morning I'm sitting bolt upright at 4am fearful that if I sleep that one more hour I will not wake for school.

Burning the candle at both ends for so long seems to have caught up with me. I simply do not feel good. I had a migraine this week, I haven't had one of those in a LONG time. I'm teetering on depression and struggling to function. I am proud of my interactions with my students and love getting to know them. I hate to admit that I hate coming home... but coming home to our current chaos is too taxing for words. The roof was replaced.... were will we get the cash to pay for it? Now what do we do about the water damage? Will insurance cover this?

Hubby dropped his class this semester because it is too hard with the overnight job and running the household. I understand, but I am frustrated he had to register and pay for it when I told him to take the semester off. Now he is out the money and it is just stupid. Why couldn't he listen? He didn't tell me until this morning when I called him to see if he was on the way home or on the way to class. "Oh, I meant to tell you -- I dropped the class."

I know he is depressed, but he needs to work at changing his current situation. Getting a different job would be a start, but he is making no moves to find another gig. Ugh.

My chronic pain is flaring up from all this stress and I'm trying to keep the depression at bay....

I know this too shall pass. I will hold on and believe.....


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