Which Bill To Pay?

LOVE the fall!

Hmm...... the energy company called today. Apparently $506 is needed to keep power. Apparently I'm expected to pay these people. Oh! That is how this works? Paid over the phone on that one.

Roof repairs were $400.

Fixing the Hoopty this month? About $500.

Then I checked on my home equity line of credit on the house. OOPS! Forgot to pay that too. I have to pay them... so I coughed up $420.

Then I checked on another bill.... Oops! I neglected them too! $162.

I admit it, I haven't paid the October mortgage! AND I just spent the money I would have used to pay it.

$200 for gifts / bachelorette party for the sister inlaw.

I have not paid the water bill in months -- the city doesn't charge late fees OR interest! That moves them to the bottom of the heap.

I was sick this week and had $40 in co-pays and prescriptions.

Ends are not meeting. Sinking deeper. Asked Hubby to find a better paying job and to get a 2nd job. He took a low paying job when the family business went into the pooper. In '06 he made half of what he made in '05 (and this was again down from '04).

We made the decision for me to take a lower paying job with my family in order to travel less and finish school. We made the decision that I could take the pay cut to be a teacher. These decisions were made in 2001 and 2003 with the assumption that Hubby would at least maintain. Little did we know what would happen with construction! Little did we know we'd have to subsidize the inlaws business and then pull the plug when it drained us. No, we planned -- but we did not see all of this coming. If we are destitute right now, how the heck will we make it when I take a pay cut to become a teacher?

At the time it made sense for me to switch fields. Now the hole we have dug has gotten quite large. Hopefully Hubby finds a 2nd job and switches back to days. I miss him and he needs to bring in more income. Hopefully I will be able to teach summer school and get a night job (one or two nights a week) as I finish my masters once I finish teaching certification this spring.

For now, paying the mortgage 30 days late is going to have to be like skipping a mortgage payment. Until Hubby gets a better job I need to buy time.....

I still love teaching!

I still love my husband!

I would not mind a small lottery winning... or if Oprah decided to adopt my family because she loves teachers :-)

I admit it though -- this debt makes my chest hurt. This worry about our future makes me sick to my stomach. We live in a decent home in a great neighborhood with a great school system. That is what is important. I don't want to lose it all. I miss financial security! I'm tired.

I still love teaching though!!! I love my kids!! I love my hubby!! I am grateful!!!

I plan to never move again -- who needs a decent credit rating anyway? They don't take your house right away....

Dear Oprah.... Dear Mr. Gates... Dear me.....