Monday

I am grateful that we have made it this far. Dad has suffered several major complications with his surgery and so we have basically been living at the hospital. He doesn't know we are there, but I think it helps anyway. I am very tired. Sitting on a basic folding chair and worrying really takes it out of you! I try not to worry, but when you have already suffered the loss of a parent it is hard not to fear even more the the other. Then I feel selfish wanting him to stay when I think of how nice it will be for him to reunite with my mom on the other side. I see how lonely he is without her. His life is full with friends and grandchildren, but the is nothing or nobody who can replace my mom for him (or us!).

He went into this a fighter so I'm not second guessing him. I am just trying to prepare myself a little since it has been terribly dicey these last few days. It will be a very long road to recovery for him. He might be conscious tomorrow. Hopefully he will be comfortable. It is so hard to see him suffer like this. It is easier when he is sedated and sleeping through the worst of it. I never like to wish my life away, but I sure will be happy for him when he is suffering less with a few more weeks of recovering under his belt.

More later.... to tired to write more now.