I am happy for my friend. The mass has been removed and now is the wait to hear about the pathology. This will determine the next step (will there be radiation? will there be chemo? will surgery be the whole thing?). I know she is relieved to have the mass removed. I am relieved too.
Now her challenge is to survive a soon to be ex husband who feels he can make custody arrangements fit his schedule. He was supposed to meet and drop them off this morning but he decided to keep them until tomorrow. This after skipping the boys basketball games. This after skipping speech therapy for the 2 year old. This after sending the kids to school without hats and gloves. This after failing to buy car seats as ordered by the court (he takes her car seats).
When do HER rights start to matter? Is it true that because HE is still in the house that HE will be looked upon more favorably for custody since there are more beds than at grandma's where she is staying? Why does he get an advantage when she fled the home because of his violence? Why isn't her lawyer telling her what to do when he violates an agreement? She should be planning ahead for this because we all know he will break all agreements. I understand that the lawyer takes the weekend off, but why not have a list of contingency steps for my friend to follow when the soon to be ex violates an agreement.
I hate not having control. So does my friend. I wish I could make this better. I hope and pray the judge looks at this man's actions and holds him accountable. Ugh.
2 comments:
I won't comment about the pain of seperation and custody, as, well, there's always two sides to evefy story.
Anyways, my ex and i are so thankful that we never went thru any custody battles. The children came first, that was our focus thru everything. The situation between us was between us, not the kids. They needen't suffer. so yeah, we never did the whole custody battle thing.
And to look at my three sons now, and even the way my ex and i can talk happily together now, you can see it was the best way to do things... the best out of a negative situation. The boys are going exceptionally well, and I'm happy for my ex. we're getting on with our lives, and even tho we're not together, we are still in 100% agreement as they boys parents about raising them. we always talk about how they are going and how we can be doing things for them. ie discipline, boundaries, consequences etc etc etc.
But yeah, we both also appreciate that we were one of the lucky divorced couples... there was no bitchiness, fighting, screaming matches.
You hear horror stories like here with your friend, and... it's just heart-breaking.
So yeah, i'd rather not comment about that. i'm just very thankful to see my own children growing and blossoming, which is all you can ask for after these situations happen in families.
anyways, blah blah blah!
Cyalayta
Mal :)
Mal -- thanks for sharing! It is good to hear a perspective from someone who has been there!!!
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