Soccer - Part 2

"Way to teach your kid mom."

Please let me clarify my previous post / rant on Super Girl's soccer situation. I started responding in comments but then found myself unable to link so I turned my vast comment into this post :-) I'm open to additional feedback and suggestions. I don't think I'm perfect or an expert on these things, but I do think I should bite my tongue.

1. Just because I state that it is HARD for me to keep my mouth shut doesn't mean I don't keep my mouth shut. I have cringed too many times as a coach when I hear what parents shout. I always coached the parents to only yell positive things and to let the coaches do the directing. As I said, I am learning to shut up on the sidelines even as a parent -- why? Because when I was coaching my mouth needed to be open to encourage and direct. As a fan my mouth only opens to ENCOURAGE. I also tend to be loud so I don't want my "Great job!" to drown out coaching direction (which is not very loud).

2. OUCH on my husband not making our child the priority. This is my fault and I'm sorry. I should have linked back to a few posts on his business going under. In my previous post I should have linked back to him staying in that business because his father had no other options and they were trying to make it to his retirement (but didn't, with us loses all financial security in the meantime). Hubby made keeping a roof over our heads a priority. He tried to keep two families supported through a dying business. The dying business was killed by the economy -- not by lack of reputation, quality output, or work ethic. He took a menial job working overnights to help pay the bills. I'm proud of him and always will be. Keeping us housed in a safe neighborhood is a much more important priority than coaching soccer, I must admit. Shame on me for not spelling this out, seriously.

(Also -- hubs would love to take the team back, but the new coach wants to keep them and he stepped up when needed. It is new coach's team now and that is right and accepted by us.)

3. I have NOT chastised new coach. NOR will I ever. I vented on my blog instead :-)

4. I don't talk smack about the coach in front of my kids EVER. NOT EVER. I try to point out his accomplishments. I also teach them not to fall into blaming the ref (even if their coaches do). My line is that you should "play so that a bad call can't wreck your game, the ref can't see every thing and you can't blame them for being human." I vent on my blog instead to my kids. I raise them to respect authority and to do the right things. I do vent to hubby on the phone in the car during the day when kids are in school.

5. I have offered to assist the coach at practices and games. I have emailed offers and given them in person. I have smiled and encouraged him and thanked him for his time. He has not taken me up on any offers except picture taking and I'm happy to help in this small way.

As MUCH as I would love to be "part of the solution" the options suggested have been tried. I have concluded that my appropriate course of action is to shut up and smile. Am I wrong?

If I must but my lip to accomplish my task, that is what I will do. My daughter is used to me yelling encouragement to the whole team -- that is the one thing I have stopped doing as a fan. I only cheer her on now or give a general "go team" rally. I don't individually cheer other players so that my words do not contradict the coach or confuse the team. I have a louder voice than the coach, so I shut up. As I should. Even if I'm yelling encouragement.

At least that is what I thought I should do.... Am I wrong?

"If you can't be part of the solution just drop your kid off at the field or stay in your SUV and watch from a distance."

:-) I hope you still don't think I'm part of the problem. I hope you realize that I'm trying consciously not to be part of the problem by reflecting on my role and position constantly. I'm open to feedback, but don't judge the Hoopty baby SUV. She's 100% paid off and has got 144,000 miles on her. That is pretty darn good for a 2001 Escape! Yeah, I'm an SUV driving soccer mom, but does that make me a bad person? I hope not!

If there are other ideas, I'll take them :-) I hope you will comment. Thanks!