Wouldn't you know that I don't have results yet on my heart testing from last week. Thankfully the welts are almost gone from my crazy skin reaction to the crazy adhesive used to hold the electrodes on my lovely chest (that's what Hubby tells me anyway, that it is lovely).This weekend was heavy on the chest pain (insert heavy chested joke here). Not bad enough to seek medical attention, just kind of bad / uncomfortable. My problem is that I was forced to pay attention to how I felt and to watch for symptoms for the fabulous Holter Monitor Test. In watching for symptoms, I tuned back in to the noise that is my every day pain. As a result I had a really bad pain weekend -- because once I tuned back in on what is happening with me physically, I felt the pain that I have ignored for so long.
I've learned to live with pain by ignoring it. Paying attention to how I feel is generally a bad thing. A very bad thing. Tuning it out and living life is a good thing. Being forced acknowledge it makes it SO very much harder to tune it out. So I have felt my pain since Wednesday and I'm having a really hard time trying to block it back out. Once the cat is out of the bag....
I wonder if this makes any sense at all to anyone who has not lived with chronic pain?
On a very bright note, my friend (who I mentioned way back here) got great news! The much delayed psychological exam was done on her crazy husband and he IS for lack of a better term.... crazy. The recommendation is to not allow unsupervised visits with him. This is great news as we have truly feared for their safety during their visitations with that man. Now we must pray that she stays safe and he doesn't try anything crazy. Way too much crazy going on there.... and I wonder why I have chest pain. Couldn't be anxiety could it? ;-)
The weather was BEAUTIFUL today. I hope to escape to the water again soon. I need a sunset fix! The sunset here is one from winter here.... I could not believe how the clouds rolled and the light shone through the darkness... a bit of a metaphor for hopefulness huh?
/Can I just say that linking back to old posts from my black template days makes me crazy? The colors look like crap on the new happy white background. Ugh. If I went back through and fixed all of them I might go insane.... I would also drive any subscribers insane. Must resist urge to remove color.... must be strong.....
5 comments:
don't know if others understand, but i sure do. the art of distraction is one of my best tools.... got to distract myself from the pain!
seems to be the name of the game, right? :/
I know EXACTLY what you mean about living with pain.
I have fibromyalgia, which means I have pain forever and always. I never know when I'm coming down with something because I just figure it is same old same old.
So I read this post and shook my head and kept saying "yes, uh-huh, yup, you got it."
Hi there--
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[[[hugs]]] to you, Ma'am. Pain is... is... well, it's a biatch! :(
Cyalayta
Mal :)
I don't have chronic pain...and listening to what you have to deal with all the time...I realize how truly blessed I am.
I pray you get good news soon!
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