I know that my life is not "normal". I get it that many can not relate to me because my son tried to kill himself nearly 2 years ago and my dad suffers from rapidly progressing dementia.
But really, can people be so clueless when they know my circumstances? When I say that I know that the crazy will end and that it will be exciting to be a "normal person" some day soon, does she really have to say that "life is never norma" and there are always challenges?
Does she not get it that her grandmother's illness does not compare to my FATHER's? Really? You still have your grandparents and parents. My grandparents are dead. My mom is dead. My dad is dying..... sorry, I just don't think you GET IT just because your 92 year old grandmother is sick. My dad is 76 and he will be gone soon. Your sick grandma is sad, but your parents are perfectly fucking healthy. Drink a cup of shut the fuck up.
When I am sad that my son is suicidal and attempted to take his life nearly 2 years ago, can you just pretend to have sympathy? Fucking really? You want to say "At least he isn't dead." Fuck yes he isn't dead -- he has been my only focus for 2 YEARS! I've live on pins and needles for 2 YEARS doing all I can to keep my wonderful son ALIVE. You are single and you get your grading done in a timely manner. Congratulations bitch, glad you have no real worries in life.
I don't seek sympathy. I don't want to be Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. But really? You can't support me when I optimistically say that "I can't wait that it will get better next year?" With optimism I proclaim "Just you wait to see me when life isn't crazy! I will be able to accomplish amazing things!"
Hello! Can't you just agree? Must you really say that there will always be something? Are you fucking kidding me? The last 2 years are beyond something.
I don't want anyone to live my life; I don't want anyone to fully appreciate what it is like. I would never wish this on my worst enemy. But really, knowing my circumstances for the past 6 years, you can't cut me a little slack and pretend to agree that IT WILL GET BETTER?
Fuck you M. and the horse you road in on.
I hope you never know what it is like to be me. I'm sorry you are single and can manage it all without a blink. Kudos to you! Enjoy it. Embrace it. For God's sake, APPRECIATE IT!
May you never know what it is like to have your father dying while you try to keep your suicidal son alive while going to school to keep your teaching certification, while working 2 jobs to pay the bills because you were on the low end when wages were frozen.
Enjoy your high end of the pay scale. Enjoy your GRANDPARENTS while I grieve the loss of my parents (I lost my last grandparent my freshman year in college, you are far past those years). Enjoy your happy lonely life; just stop fucking judging me. I will never live up to your standards because I have a live outside of work. My life is amazing. My pain is great but my joy is great as well. Get a life M. You would be shocked at how much joy you can gain through the suffering.
Oh, by the way..... Don't tell me that "There will always be something, that is how life is." Fuck you. You have no clue how rough life can be and I do not wish it upon you. Really? Can't you just pretend to relate? You are the reason I hate to be around people. You are the reason I hate social occasions. You are the reason that I don't go to the lunch room for lunch. You are the reason I keep to myself and focus on my family and students.
You don't get it.
I hope and pray you never will.
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