Journey Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (a new one begins!!!!!!!!!!)

I took my last final exam. My last final exam!!! Whoop whoop! Done like dinner! I can not believe it is DONE! I started back in 2001. I had a college degree but wanted to get certified so that I could teach the youth of America. So much has happened since I started back to school.

I was in a terrible car accident the first week of class and was on pain killers for the duration of that semester. I could not believe that I rocked a "A" in both of the classes that I took that semester. How do you make A's when you are basically stoned on pain meds? I would drive to class, take a Vicodin, take notes, have pain pill wear off, drive home.

I was afraid of becoming addicted to pain medicine but I could not carry on at work or home without pain management. My doctor told me to take the medicine and do the physical therapy. It didn't help my pain and I struggled to keep up at work and home. I ended up seeking the help of specialists because I wanted my life back. Apparently, "I want my life back" is a magic phrase that makes doctors want to help you. My boss was understanding and my specialist referred me to a combination program of physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pain management. My mom helped me through this -- she drove me to pick up my kids from daycare after my PT and helped make dinner while I recouped on the couch. I felt like a failure, she told me she admired how I functioned through pain. It was so hard admitting I could not do it all..... (wow, this could take a lot of separate posts to explain).

I went through 3 months of education on dealing with chronic pain. I learned about proper medications (acute pain is medicated differently than chronic pain). I happily gave up the medicine and struggled through to learn how to function despite the pain. Basically it boils down to baby steps and learning your limits. During this time my infrequent migraines became frequent.

Time passed and I kept up the hectic pace of being a student, working mom, pain patient and wife. I tried to keep all the balls in the air with the same flair I had prior to the accident. Needless to say, my blood pressure increased and I ended up having a mini stroke. Apparently I had a congenital heart defect which caused the blood to pool funny in my heart. A clot formed and shot to my hand (hello, ouch!). I had a mini stroke (lost feeling on the right side, vision issues, lost some language but regained it over time). I ended up having minor heart surgery to fix the issue and was good as gold. I continued to take classes throughout these crazy setbacks. Try studying after a stroke! Glad I was taking acting that semester -- needless to say I struggled on the memorization piece!

So the minor heart surgery was a basic miracle in my opinion. It was done out patient! I had a catheter surgery where a device was implanted that served to patch the hole in my heart (there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza -- somehow that song goes through my head when I think about the hole in my heart, sorry!). My evil sister deemed the device my "internal jewelry." Clever huh? I had my atrial septal defect corrected. I kept taking classes... one at a time... slow and steady wins the race.

This same year my mother came down with uterine cancer. She had symptoms and sought medical help, but the doctor didn't get the joke and missed the diagnosis. Note to the ladies out there: lower back pain and post menapausal bleeding are issues that NO doctor should dismiss. My mom had medical training -- she didn't assert herself to get a 2nd opinion. PLEASE get a 2nd opinion. She went through radiation and had a radical hysterectomy. She had the best attitude -- she actually convinced us that it was no big deal and that treatment would resolve everything. I kept taking classes.

Next my dad had an aortic aneurysm. It ruptured (slow leak -- thank the Lord!). He lost tons of blood and was VERY lucky that a really smart doctor was lurking in the emergency room that night. He was rushed into surgery and survived! We were told that he beat the odds -- 60% of patient like him do not even make it to the hospital, 50% don't make it through surgery, 50% don't make it through the next 24 hours. It has been 5 years and I'm still blessed to have him! I sat with him in the ICU as doctors came in to see "Superman." They could not believe he had survived. Considering this was 20 years after heart bypass surgery, the man earned some bonus points for this feat -- don't you think? I kept taking classes.

My mother inlaw was in and out of the hospital much of this time. She is a gastric bypass patient gone wrong. (I don't know if the issue was her surgery or her noncompliance). Her suffering and hospitalizations made me a more assertive patient advocate (long stories, maybe I'll expand on this someday...) The sad thing is how much she suffered. The silver lining is that her experiences and my medical training helped me help my mom when the cancer returned. She has gone about 6 months without a hospitalization. Yes, this is a record -- it has been 6 years of madness.

Hubby coached the kids soccer teams for a couple of seasons during this madness. I was his chief assistant and bottle washer -- I learned a ton and had a great time (while working full time and taking classes). I loved it and was sad when he had to give it up due to the family business dying.

My mom's cancer returned and went to the brain in 2005. She was given 6-9 months. We lost her 14 weeks after the vertigo hit. I can not describe the devastation. My world will never be the same. I will always appreciate what I have.... Cancer is cruel. Nobody should suffer a death like that... I miss my mom. I miss her pep talks. I'm not in the fog anymore... but I still miss her every day. If you read any of the last three links you will see that this blog is really my own personal therapy. Who needs counseling when you can purge your feelings onto a blog?

The last 2 years since I lost my mom (and married off my sister!) I took 2-3 classes per semester. It seems that if you accelerate you get done faster! I needed to get done. I need to get teaching and to love my work.

So, since I started back to school my kids went from kindergarten kids to tweens. I lost my mom. I'm lucky my dad is still here. I'm lucky my evil mother inlaw is still here. My Hubby and his father lost our savings on a construction business that was supposed to be passed down to hubby. I've learned to live with chronic pain. I've gained 3 fabulous nieces and an adorable nephew. I've learned to appreciate a beautiful sunset. I can enjoy the now -- I never knew how to do this before....

Since I started back to school (yes, it was fall of 2001), I have come to appreciate how much I have left to learn. I loved taking classes because I always felt I was learning. I LOVED student teaching because I loved my students, the things they taught me, and how rewarding it is to finally teach. I love how I come home from school energized vs. drained. I love how my own kids and I share stories about school. I love teaching and who it makes me become in the classroom and at home. I like the teacher in me. She isn't perfect (far from it!), but she tries really hard and cares a ton.

The journey has been long... I'm so happy that I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life as a teacher. I joked with Hubby today about how I'm now an unemployed teacher! Sure, I work full time, but it is not in my chosen field. I am a teacher! I can't believe I'm finally done. You can tell I don't believe it because even as I reflect back on the journey through this post... I still don't believe I'm DONE! DONE! DONE! Maybe it will sink in this weekend when I'm not writing a paper... or perhaps next week when I'm not driving 40 minutes to class.... I'm relieved.

Life is good. Hubby has a job interview this morning.... may he bring me more good news! Sorry -- this turned out to be a really long post; I just can't believe how much has happened and how much my life has changed since I started back to school.... Yes, there have been challenges, but I'm still standing!

Being done with classes is exciting -- I will force myself to celebrate and savor this moment!