Teaching Rocks

For me, teaching is all about relationships. I teach high school, but I almost don't care what I teach. If I can connect with a student I can help them as a learner. It is so cool to have a job where I am able to make a difference. I realize these kids are GREAT. I realize they have a lot to contribute to this world. How cool is it that I have a job where I can encourage others to grow and make a difference? I consider this the most wonderful part of the job.

Updates:
- Hubby is taking a class this semester - yay!
- Dad is doing okay with radiation for the prostate cancer. He has good and bad days. Cancer is like that.
- Wonder boy is continuing to have issues with sleep, we are working on it.
- Super Girl is still challenging me as a parent in terms of her achieving to her abilities in school. How typical is that?
- I'm a first year teacher so I'm taking a break from my master's program. Can I just say that next year will be SOOOOO much easier when I'm not going through everything for the very first time?
- Why is it acceptable for tees to grind on each other at high school dances? Do we not have standards?

Teaching is amazing... you learn SO much!!

Wow!

Time sure is flying!

I'll admit it -- I see the difference between grad school and undergraduate... More is required (as it should be...) I simply may have to do this one class at a time vs. two.... there is a fine line between what is worth working on and what is taking too much of my time (as a working mom of two!). I like how this program is making me think. I hope all of the professors are as good as the one I have now.

My baby turns 12 this coming weekend.... how did Wonder Boy get this old? He is still a snugly loving boy... though he is sometimes too cool to deal with Mom. I am sometimes grateful that he understand and appreciates sarcasm... and then again sometimes not. Wish I didn't have to host the family party with my inlaws for the Febrary birthdays... must clean the house this week and I'm a bit tired to jump into that!!!

I went with Dad today and met with the vascular surgeon who will be repairing his Triple A (abdominal aortic aneurysm). This is round two (first surgery for the leaking ruptured AAA was just 6 years ago... at the time they could not do a full replacement as this was an emergency surgery). Lucky Dad! He gets to do this again! The upside is that he is scheduled to have the surgery a month from now... it will not be an emergency room drama this time.

Upon recovery we will then schedule the prostate surgery to remove the prostate due to the cancer. Again -- this is not a panic as it was caught early. You simply have to prioritize and the prostate is less life threatening than the AAA. I understand the term "sandwich generation" more than I could have appreciated previously.

Tomorrow I will testify in my best friend's divorce. The case is in arbitration. I hope my testimony makes a difference... I feel horrible for her kids and fear for her... her husband is an obsessive controlling stalker... perhaps we can be rich if we right the story of this divorce up as a Lifetime movie... we (my friend and I) could use the income!

Wonder Boy is doing much better in school. Medication was the right decision. I am thrilled to report he is happy and doing MUCH better in school.

Super Girl has not wanted to attend the last two school dances. She seems happy and has friends who attend but she does not want to participate. I'm at a loss to find out why she "doesn't feel like going." I hope all is well... I will keep checking in and listening... middle school was one of the worst times of my life... but as of yet she does not seem to want to share...

Hubby is attending classes & is still employed despite the horrible economy! He is better on the depression front and is not too annoyed with me... I've been studying scripture and my faith. I realize that can be annoying for those who are not into it at this moment... All I know is that when I study the details of WHY Catholics believe this or that.. a LOT seems to make sense to me. I don't get ALL of it... but WOW am I growing a lot the more I read and research. We Catholics do not tend to read scripture... it is interesting to read and listen to converts. They appreciate and bring so much to my understanding of the faith in which I was brought up. Reading daily scripture seems to keep me much more centered on who I want to be vs. who I am. I have more patience to be the person I want to be... I think this is due to the effort I'm putting into what I read.

I wish I had more time to blog as of late... there are so many thoughts percolating in my mind!! Often it is in writing that I truly digest what is cooking in my mind.... I hope to post again soon but cannot promise this week... perhaps next? Thanks for hanging in there with me, cheering for us.. and praying for us! While we face some big challenges I find that I'm calmer than I would have been in the past. Faith helps.. optimism is not without a source.

It is cold and I'm looking forward to spring...

Grounded... for life???

I spent most of my senior year in high school grounded. I was one of those kids who had the uncanny knack for pushing the rage button of my parents. It isn't that I was evil; I was quite normal. I got into less trouble than most teens... but I did push that rage button effectively!

My mother always said that teens are difficult to live with for a reason. If we were pleasant our parents would never want us to move out. God has a special way of helping us leave the nest -- he plans the friction between parents and teens so that the teens will be motivated to leave the nest and the parents will be motivated to let them! My mom was brilliant... you can't argue the logic. She said "If we got along during those years you never would have moved out."

So true.

As a new week begins my tweens have chosen to extend their grounding from TV. Wonder Boy has added an especially divine torture -- he is grounded from the computer. Nick.com is not a life calling my son....

Sometimes I think kids like to get in trouble because they can see that we parents are noticing them. "Please, give me clearly defined boundaries!"

No problem honey, here is the line -- and yes, you stepped over it.

Super girl has gotten creative.... she has agreed to say the rosary to lift herself from another punishment. How much does that ROCK!? Super Girl is saying the rosary!!!!!

So this week will be a joy because Super Girl is saying the rosary, feeding the dogs, and unloading the dishwasher.

Wonder Boy is pulling a power play and trying to torture me due to his no TV or computer status (again, nick.com is not a life calling!). Wonder Boy has an amazing ability to make misery for all who share a home with him. He is a true believer that misery LOVES company.

The good news is that homework is done. We are also in the throes of ANOTHER marathon game of Monopoly. I know you are jealous....

I feel like these moments are a test... can I come up with an appropriate consequence for the discretion... and can I stick by it? For me that is the key -- do not threaten what you will not follow through on! So here we are -- no TV or computer for this week. Hopefully next week Wonder Boy will choose not to be INSANELY DISTRACTING during church (um, hello... it is not okay to pull out post it notes to draw on DURING MASS!). Hopefully Super Girl will choose to hand in homework! (How can you do the work and then forget to hand it in????).

I adore these children of mine. How cool is it that they have to feed the dogs and unload the dishwasher for the next week? (New rule: Complain and the punishment duration DOUBLES!!!). Step up and life is pretty easy... shirk your responsibilities and you will find yourself doing time!!!

(Yes, I allow them to negotiate to lesson their consequences... but hey, it you make a bad choice it will take a lot to change your sentence! Do the crime, serve the time!).

I am evil. I know....

I hope Super Girl decides to get on the ball with her math and English classes. It would be sad to learn about applying yourself in summer school... that and it would be sad to have to do chores to make the $$ your parents have to fork over to pay for that summer school.

Ah the joy of learning the hard way. I must be strong so that they learn these lessons now while the cost is small.

Updates

I love having time off from taking night classes! I love having time off from constructing a portfolio and preparing for interviews. Alert the media -- I made dinner last night!! I am also seeing progress on my housekeeping! What a difference it makes to be home more!

The interview was not canceled and it went well. If they don't pick me I am fine -- I did everything I could do!! My portfolio was cool, I did mini portfolio's for each interviewer, and I brought thank you notes before they finished the last interview of the day (one for each of the interviewers-- each personalized to whatever connection I could think of for the person or position).

I enjoyed it and it was great practice. I got some nods and smiles throughout the interview, so at least I didn't horrify anyone. Interesting that the MALE interviewers were more encouraging? I'm not a super young hottie, so this shocked me. The female was a pretty young teacher -- not as warm as I would hope for a chick. I should have remembered that women are a tougher interview.

Oh well! Did all I could do. I was supposed to hear yesterday either way if I'm getting called back for the next round. I took it as a positive sign that they explained this to me -- not so much now that I have not gotten a call. ;-) The deal is that there are 20 candidates interviewed from a field of about 150ish applicants. They will narrow the field and do a 2nd round of interviews followed by some terrible lesson the applicant is forced to teach, followed by a potential final interview. No pressure when it comes to securing a teaching gig! :-)

I'm at peace and am OKAY with not getting the call -- in reality I need another year toget my financial house in order before it is at all realistic for me to take a pay cut. I'm just happy that I did my best and I even have better answers for my next interview. I actually made a decent dinner and my house is closer to clean. Also, I'm happy my toe is NOT broken. I bruised the daylights out of it, but I can walk pretty well now. So, all in all today is a good day! I'll call and arrange to pick up my portfolio on Friday or Monday and ask them for feedback to help me with my next interview :-)

At least my portfolio is DONE and gorgeous and I'm able to make dinner now!

Journey Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (a new one begins!!!!!!!!!!)

I took my last final exam. My last final exam!!! Whoop whoop! Done like dinner! I can not believe it is DONE! I started back in 2001. I had a college degree but wanted to get certified so that I could teach the youth of America. So much has happened since I started back to school.

I was in a terrible car accident the first week of class and was on pain killers for the duration of that semester. I could not believe that I rocked a "A" in both of the classes that I took that semester. How do you make A's when you are basically stoned on pain meds? I would drive to class, take a Vicodin, take notes, have pain pill wear off, drive home.

I was afraid of becoming addicted to pain medicine but I could not carry on at work or home without pain management. My doctor told me to take the medicine and do the physical therapy. It didn't help my pain and I struggled to keep up at work and home. I ended up seeking the help of specialists because I wanted my life back. Apparently, "I want my life back" is a magic phrase that makes doctors want to help you. My boss was understanding and my specialist referred me to a combination program of physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pain management. My mom helped me through this -- she drove me to pick up my kids from daycare after my PT and helped make dinner while I recouped on the couch. I felt like a failure, she told me she admired how I functioned through pain. It was so hard admitting I could not do it all..... (wow, this could take a lot of separate posts to explain).

I went through 3 months of education on dealing with chronic pain. I learned about proper medications (acute pain is medicated differently than chronic pain). I happily gave up the medicine and struggled through to learn how to function despite the pain. Basically it boils down to baby steps and learning your limits. During this time my infrequent migraines became frequent.

Time passed and I kept up the hectic pace of being a student, working mom, pain patient and wife. I tried to keep all the balls in the air with the same flair I had prior to the accident. Needless to say, my blood pressure increased and I ended up having a mini stroke. Apparently I had a congenital heart defect which caused the blood to pool funny in my heart. A clot formed and shot to my hand (hello, ouch!). I had a mini stroke (lost feeling on the right side, vision issues, lost some language but regained it over time). I ended up having minor heart surgery to fix the issue and was good as gold. I continued to take classes throughout these crazy setbacks. Try studying after a stroke! Glad I was taking acting that semester -- needless to say I struggled on the memorization piece!

So the minor heart surgery was a basic miracle in my opinion. It was done out patient! I had a catheter surgery where a device was implanted that served to patch the hole in my heart (there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza -- somehow that song goes through my head when I think about the hole in my heart, sorry!). My evil sister deemed the device my "internal jewelry." Clever huh? I had my atrial septal defect corrected. I kept taking classes... one at a time... slow and steady wins the race.

This same year my mother came down with uterine cancer. She had symptoms and sought medical help, but the doctor didn't get the joke and missed the diagnosis. Note to the ladies out there: lower back pain and post menapausal bleeding are issues that NO doctor should dismiss. My mom had medical training -- she didn't assert herself to get a 2nd opinion. PLEASE get a 2nd opinion. She went through radiation and had a radical hysterectomy. She had the best attitude -- she actually convinced us that it was no big deal and that treatment would resolve everything. I kept taking classes.

Next my dad had an aortic aneurysm. It ruptured (slow leak -- thank the Lord!). He lost tons of blood and was VERY lucky that a really smart doctor was lurking in the emergency room that night. He was rushed into surgery and survived! We were told that he beat the odds -- 60% of patient like him do not even make it to the hospital, 50% don't make it through surgery, 50% don't make it through the next 24 hours. It has been 5 years and I'm still blessed to have him! I sat with him in the ICU as doctors came in to see "Superman." They could not believe he had survived. Considering this was 20 years after heart bypass surgery, the man earned some bonus points for this feat -- don't you think? I kept taking classes.

My mother inlaw was in and out of the hospital much of this time. She is a gastric bypass patient gone wrong. (I don't know if the issue was her surgery or her noncompliance). Her suffering and hospitalizations made me a more assertive patient advocate (long stories, maybe I'll expand on this someday...) The sad thing is how much she suffered. The silver lining is that her experiences and my medical training helped me help my mom when the cancer returned. She has gone about 6 months without a hospitalization. Yes, this is a record -- it has been 6 years of madness.

Hubby coached the kids soccer teams for a couple of seasons during this madness. I was his chief assistant and bottle washer -- I learned a ton and had a great time (while working full time and taking classes). I loved it and was sad when he had to give it up due to the family business dying.

My mom's cancer returned and went to the brain in 2005. She was given 6-9 months. We lost her 14 weeks after the vertigo hit. I can not describe the devastation. My world will never be the same. I will always appreciate what I have.... Cancer is cruel. Nobody should suffer a death like that... I miss my mom. I miss her pep talks. I'm not in the fog anymore... but I still miss her every day. If you read any of the last three links you will see that this blog is really my own personal therapy. Who needs counseling when you can purge your feelings onto a blog?

The last 2 years since I lost my mom (and married off my sister!) I took 2-3 classes per semester. It seems that if you accelerate you get done faster! I needed to get done. I need to get teaching and to love my work.

So, since I started back to school my kids went from kindergarten kids to tweens. I lost my mom. I'm lucky my dad is still here. I'm lucky my evil mother inlaw is still here. My Hubby and his father lost our savings on a construction business that was supposed to be passed down to hubby. I've learned to live with chronic pain. I've gained 3 fabulous nieces and an adorable nephew. I've learned to appreciate a beautiful sunset. I can enjoy the now -- I never knew how to do this before....

Since I started back to school (yes, it was fall of 2001), I have come to appreciate how much I have left to learn. I loved taking classes because I always felt I was learning. I LOVED student teaching because I loved my students, the things they taught me, and how rewarding it is to finally teach. I love how I come home from school energized vs. drained. I love how my own kids and I share stories about school. I love teaching and who it makes me become in the classroom and at home. I like the teacher in me. She isn't perfect (far from it!), but she tries really hard and cares a ton.

The journey has been long... I'm so happy that I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life as a teacher. I joked with Hubby today about how I'm now an unemployed teacher! Sure, I work full time, but it is not in my chosen field. I am a teacher! I can't believe I'm finally done. You can tell I don't believe it because even as I reflect back on the journey through this post... I still don't believe I'm DONE! DONE! DONE! Maybe it will sink in this weekend when I'm not writing a paper... or perhaps next week when I'm not driving 40 minutes to class.... I'm relieved.

Life is good. Hubby has a job interview this morning.... may he bring me more good news! Sorry -- this turned out to be a really long post; I just can't believe how much has happened and how much my life has changed since I started back to school.... Yes, there have been challenges, but I'm still standing!

Being done with classes is exciting -- I will force myself to celebrate and savor this moment!

Prayers for my Hubby

So, I have an idea. I know, you are thinking -- what is your big hairy idea G.R.G? Here it is....

I think my husband should take my job when I start teaching. I work for family and am overpaid for what I do. Hubby could do the work that I do AND be happy at it. He would happily do it for less pay. I need to get out of the driving (it causes me so much pain) and into teaching (which brings me so much joy!). My job could go to him when I leave! IT WOULD BE PERFECT.

What made me think of this? Well, my brother inlaw got laid off yesterday and my Dad called him and told him not to worry -- worst case scenario he could work for him at our office. Um hello? The only difference between hubby's situation and the brother inlaw is timing and education. The brother inlaw got laid off (1 month to work, 2 months severance). Hubby was in a family business that died a painfully slow death (construction, need I say more?). Brother inlaw has a college education, hubby has some college but no degree. My Dad never made the call to Hubby. I think that it is most likely because at the time he was thinking of selling the business because he wanted to retire. Now our family has the business running so that he doesn't need to worry -- hence it can continue vs. being sold.

Hubby is smart, he has just always sold him self short due to the lack of education. My thinking is that he offers himself up and that I support and help him into it -- while he goes to school at night and gets the polish you get from completing a degree. Hubby and I had a long talk tonight and I think he is open to it. It isn't like we don't already have a family member working in the business without a degree. Hubby brings more to the table than he realizes (20 years in a small business doing everything from book keeping to prospecting to equipment operations to customer relations.....).

I pointed this out to him tonight. I told him how he HAS to believe and be confident. It is up to HIM to sell this idea; to sell it he must believe it. He has to approach my dad. He has to sell himself. He has to believe. My dad loves him and respects him. I think he never thought of offering him a job simply because Hubby never acted interested (brother inlaw acted interested when he was researching something for his master's program). When my sister mentioned the offer to brother inlaw I was initially hurt. Then I looked at it logically and realized the advantage of a sudden layoff vs. a slow death of a business. A sudden loss needs to be fixed right now. A slow death.... is a slow death.

Pray for us. I think this whole tearing down over the last year could have been God's way of getting him ready to work for my family. He had too much pride in the past to ask for help, but I'm hoping he realizes that he offers a great asset in himself and that he brings a lot to the table to make this a win/win.

I don't think my brother inlaw will take my dad up on his offer. My brother inlaw is kind of prideful and would not want to be beholden to the family business. Hubby's pride is stripped away and he can see an opportunity staring him in the face. Please let my family see what is obvious to me -- hubby is ready for the transition from blue collar to white collar. It is nice to keep the business just family and you could not find a harder worker than Hubby. He is a people person, he is a hard worker, he is willing to learn and do whatever it takes. May this be the door that opens... we really need one to open!!! So, I ask for your prayers. If this is the epiphany we were supposed to come to, let this weekend bring the necessary conversations among family that will make it a reality (sooner vs. later!).

The pug is nuts and is not doing a good job taking it easy. We will have to borrow a kennel for her so she can recuperate from the mysterious injury.

Wonder Boy is cracking me up -- he is now being our DJ by making his own iTune song list. He loves hosting his own radio show. He even has contests -- I was able to name 3 out of 4 mystery songs today. Yes, I am proud!

Super Girl has been a trouper through physical therapy. The MRI is tomorrow and the appointment with the specialist is next week -- please pray with us that the tendon in that ankle is NOT torn. I don't want my poor baby having surgery if we can avoid it. She misses sports but understands when I repeat "You can have short term inconvenience or long term pain if you don't take care of this." Living with a chronic pain mom has probably helped her make the right choice ;-)

So, please pray for us! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

/Yes, I'm apparently a posting wonder now that my Internet is working at home. Whoop whoop for the Geek Squad repair service!

Teaching, Learning, Adapting

It makes quite a difference in my daily life that I am not driving as much while I am student teaching. Typically I was putting 20-25,000 miles per year on my car. Driving increases my pain due to neck and arm positioning. NOT driving has been wonderful!

My drive to school for student teaching is reasonable and it makes me realize how pain impacts the quality of your life. I am grateful that my pain is manageable 6 years after my car accident. I am grateful that driving less seems to be helping. How strange it is when my 6 year companion of daily pain does not shout at me for attention right now. How strange it is when the ache is like a lawn mower noise in the background; it is there, but it isn't affecting me all that much. Hopefully when student teaching is over I will secure a teaching position that is close to home. Not having to drive long distances is quite helpful to me!

Another thing that is interesting about my student teaching experience is how much my 2002 minor stroke comes into play. I can relate to students with various learning styles because I now understand what it is to be a visual learner. I understand what it means to have to write EVERYTHING down. I know what it is like to have difficulty moving something from my short term to my long term memory. I use myself as an example ALL the time. My high school students are learning from my experience. I had to learn how to learn all over again after my stroke.

My discussions asking them how they learn best have been fascinating. I can relate to ALL of their learning styles (visual, auditory, kinetic, etc...). We discuss learning and they give each other ideas to try. What a great way to help learners learn! They like to have a teacher who will admit academic struggles. They love it that I have to work hard to do well in school. They are fascinated that I used to have a nearly photographic memory and that now I won't remember something from yesterday without some kind of trigger (like a note to myself or just a little more detail on a story they told me). They laugh when I often exclaim "Oh yeah!" as they tell me again and the light bulb goes on for me.

It isn't that I'm stupid or don't pay attention, it is that I don't access the memory that is stored as easily as I once did. My students also get a kick out of how hard I work to learn their names. I can come back from a weekend and find that I've lost some of their names. If I don't use the name often, it is gone and not accessible for immediate recall. My students now realize I will never forget their faces, but their names which I called Friday may not be there for me Monday! I have learned that this is okay. I accommodate by taking a lot of notes. You can accommodate for memory issues if you are willing to work at it.

The workload is pretty insane right now for me. Learning how to be a teacher is great -- it is just difficult since there are only so many hours in the day. Each new experience takes me longer now than it will when I am a seasoned teacher. I am tired from all the hours spent with essays. My cooperating teacher reminded me not to spend more time on an essay than the student did.... interesting way to think of it. I am going to let them do the rewrites and wrestle with their own errors. She made a good point in that they will learn from having to find the error (we indicate what line, they need to find the error on the line) and then correct it. True that! I correcting the error am teaching them nothing. Letting them find and correct it forces an investment of time and brain power which will result in learning. Can I just have 5 more hours in each day so I can turn these papers around more quickly?

I get it teachers -- you deserve those summers off since much of the school year you are working double time! I also see why teachers don't want to change what courses they teach. It is much more fun for me to tweak a lesson than to create one. A lot of planning goes into a semester and it is so much simpler to adjust content when you already have the skeleton on which to layer the muscle. The thought of finding out what you are teaching and then starting the next day blows my mind. I like to plan ahead and my current workload doesn't allow for it as much as I'd like... Juggling family obligations on top makes the challenge greater. As much as I love student teaching I will love teaching more when I've secured a job and have my own classroom. I love the students that I've been loaned. It would be wonderful to teach in this school someday...