No Greater Joy

There is no greater joy than teaching. Sure, the hours are long (especially for high school English teachers), but the rewards are plentiful. I am so glad to be a 2nd career teacher. I am so grateful for the students that I spent time with on a daily basis. There is something unbelievably wonderful about witnessing growth over time. There is something amazing in watching your freshmen become sophomores.... not to mention watching your seniors graduate!

My 2nd year of teaching is complete and I'm so very grateful. It took 7 years of night classes to get my certification, but it was well worth it. In a time when teachers are demonized I still can't help but be grateful. Sure, the pay stinks. Sure, my benefits are cut. Sure, my hours are long and I have to work a summer job to get by... but it is worth it. I have joy on a daily basis in my classroom. I love to support the students who just need someone to believe in them. I love to watch them experience the joy of success. No other job has given me such joy.

What a gift they are to me. I am so very grateful!

As I age...

I realize what is important. I don't really care about how I look or what people think of me. I care about what I can do, what I can control, how I can make a difference.

I don't care if I'm fat. I don't care if my students think I'm fair because I KNOW that I am more than fair; I am merciful. I realize what truly matters is being able to live with the decisions that I make. I realize that helping a single student secure a sense of accomplishment is well worth the BS that can bring me down.

My students are important, but I realize that what is most important is my relationships with my children. My home must be a refuge and place of peace. Hubby will learn this too... he has not suffered enough to get this yet. Better that he not understand; better that he not be forced to crave peace. Better that he not know that desperation for one area of life to be safe...

I know am I not alone. I know it will get better. I hope my body can keep up with my spirit.... I can do this. I know I can. Why is my blood pressure so high? Why can't I lose the extra weight? Please, let me be all that I want to be.... please let my body withstand and thrive as I tackle these challenges.

I've been more than 3 days without a cigarette. I wish I'd never picked one up. Darn if it didn't help me cope though.... Perhaps by conquering this nasty habit (restarted in June) I can get control of my eating and my life....

I wonder if these bad habits are crutches we are given to help us limp through the crazy tough times? I forgive myself though I hate to admit this fault... a girl can only do her best. A crutch in the storm is not so bad... It would be nice if the storm passed.... I must get stronger so that I do not need crutches.

More than 4 days without a cigarette.... I am proud. Pray that I can conquer this and my weight. I want to make a difference in this world before I leave it....

I can't wait.....

...... for school to start! I can't wait to start year 2 -- I learned so much in year one that I can put into practice!

Yay!

As the school year comes to a close, I realize that it was a good first year.

There are no words to describe a student discovering his or her own talent.... there are no words to describe the joy of helping a student understand the importance of tolerance of individuals or ideas they did not previously understand.... there are no words to describe the joy of being privileged enough to watch the growth of my students through their first year of high school. I wonder if they will ever realize how much they helped me grow.

Sure, some of them scammed me. Surely I did not catch every act of plagiarism.... but I will be better at that next year... I've learned SO much!!! I'm in the final push of grading and I'm so grateful for all that I have learned. Hopefully my students learned too!

Other news:
- Doctor appointment next week on the lump / abnormal mammogram issue. I'm asking for an MRI. I hate not knowing my issues.
- My sister still has a controlling hubby - nothing seems to be escalating so I guess I'll keep holding my tongue and doing that watchful waiting thing.....
- My best friend is suffering through an ugly break up.... what kind of man takes a fuse from the woman's vehicle so the air conditioning does not work? Really? Is it necessary to be that evil? Well played. Too bad she outclasses him 7 days a week. This too shall pass.
- Dad is healthier now and we are grateful!
- Bonnie and Clyde (my kids) have gotten away with murder this year but have improved grades as of late! YAY!
- Keeping all the balls in the air is difficult... I'm looking forward to the summer 9-5 job.... autopilot is beautiful thing to be on.....

I love teaching!

I love my students. My worst day teaching is so much better than my good days in the corporate world! It is so awesome being there for my students and getting to know them. I love watching them grow! WOW have they evolved since last September! Thankfully, so has their writing!

I'm busier than ever but quite happy! I look forward to next year -- I've learned so much that will hopefully make next year easier for me. I have to admit -- teachers work really hard (especially ENGLISH teachers!).

The hard part is striking a balance between work and home life.... such is the gripe of every working mom :-)

Teaching

Spending my day with high school students is AWESOME! I love teaching! I am surviving my first year and looking forward to next year when I will tweak my lessons vs having to do everything for the very first time. I will take what I learned about classroom management and implement routines and guidelines on day 1.

I have learned SO much this year. I have learned that the more insanely organized I am, the smoother everything goes. I have become ultra organized and am so much more efficient as a result! I have been sick all year and have now enjoyed a few weeks of good health. It is amazing how much more you can accomplish without a cold, flu, sinus infection or other illness. I am hoping good health holds out :-)

My second opinion is on Monday on the lump. May all go well!

Happiness

Happiness is remaining healthy for a few weeks!!!

I have to admit, I thought the tales of first year teacher illness were exaggerated. Apparently, the illness suffered by a first year teacher is truly the stuff of which legend is made. It is only now that I've felt good for a few days that I realize that I was indeed quite sick for quite some time!

I'm looking forward to a nice break in which I can get caught up on grading. I love teaching and I love my students.... I also can't wait for my immunity to build up. Who knew it would be like this? I didn't! I did not ever get this sick when student teaching. Are 9th graders really that much more germie than 10th-12th? Hmmmmmmm........

Snow Day!

Oh the joy of a snow day! Ah the memories of previous snow days when I actually took pictures! How fun it is to see the world blanketed in clean icy white goodness. I will have to start taking pictures again. I miss it. It was super cool having a snow day with my kids this week when I was legitimately off work and not having to feel guilty... yay snow day!

Due to flu I have not had my 2nd opinion yet on my latest lump issue. Hopefully next week.

This week: I get to meet with the angry dad. Clearly he is more important than me and his child is way too smart for that "B" the student earned. Whatever, can't wait to see him in person. Maybe he will not be as arrogant in person? I can only hope.

Pray for me ;-)

Still Waiting / Mean Parents

Biopsy #1 is benign! (More biopsies and testing to come, I will keep you posted).

I am waiting on the 2nd opinion.... but, that will be awhile due to me catching the flu again and not being able to get in to the doctor. Oh how I love days that I'm not sick. I can not imagine what it would be like to NOT be sick for a full weak. First year teachers catch it all. This too shall pass. I love my students and my job. Major props to the English teachers of the world. They do indeed earn their keep.

Parents -- have some mercy already. Just because you don't like your child's grade does not mean it is MY fault he or she failed to follow instructions. Cut me some slack when demanding a meeting (on my time) and try to have a tone that is not so darn condescending. It is awesome that you make double my salary; thanks for sharing. I used to make much too, but I decided to stop selling my soul. It does not make you better than me. I've fired people like you, thankyouverymuch.

Throwing your weight around only makes you look like an asshole. Thank goodness I take the time to THINK before firing off emails to my kid's teachers. Hello asshole, could you pay attention all semester long vs. contacting me after grades are posted for the ENTIRE semester? Congrats "Father of the Year," great job being involved. Glad you could be there AFTER the fact.

Oh, and mentioning your business trip to Japan... guess what? I'm not impressed.

I'm glad your kid is a wonderful person. Thank goodness for gene mutations..... she / he does not take after you -- asshole.

Sorry, but I DO feel better now! I'm such a jerk. ;-)

Happy

Do I sound crazy when I say I'm afraid to admit that I'm happy? It always seems like life kicks you in the face when you stop to savor the moment....

I love teaching! I'm so tired. Being a first year teacher is so much more tiring than I realized, but it is such a great tired feeling! Everything will be so much easier year 2! Tweaking is so much easier than creating. Being through it all once will help me so much when I'm doing everything this second time! I love my students. I am tired.

Dad is done with radiation. It was pesky, but there are good meds out there for prostate radiation side effects. Thank goodness for good medicine!

The kids are doing well and I'm thankful. How wonderful that they are stepping to the plate when needed! I am so grateful. Life IS good. I am counting my blessings!!!!

Our greyhound had to be put down.... it was hard. I'm not going to talk about it other than to say that big silly hound will be horribly missed. How nice it was to have such a great presence in our home!

Teaching Rocks

For me, teaching is all about relationships. I teach high school, but I almost don't care what I teach. If I can connect with a student I can help them as a learner. It is so cool to have a job where I am able to make a difference. I realize these kids are GREAT. I realize they have a lot to contribute to this world. How cool is it that I have a job where I can encourage others to grow and make a difference? I consider this the most wonderful part of the job.

Updates:
- Hubby is taking a class this semester - yay!
- Dad is doing okay with radiation for the prostate cancer. He has good and bad days. Cancer is like that.
- Wonder boy is continuing to have issues with sleep, we are working on it.
- Super Girl is still challenging me as a parent in terms of her achieving to her abilities in school. How typical is that?
- I'm a first year teacher so I'm taking a break from my master's program. Can I just say that next year will be SOOOOO much easier when I'm not going through everything for the very first time?
- Why is it acceptable for tees to grind on each other at high school dances? Do we not have standards?

Teaching is amazing... you learn SO much!!

Teaching

I'm neglecting my blog because I'm focused on the children. My own and my STUDENTS! Thanks for celebrating my accomplishment of securing a teaching gig! I LOVE LOVE LOVE my students. High schoolers rock! It is wonderful to be in the classroom and to share moments with my students. I love watching their eyes light up and hearing their thoughts. All of my energy is focused on the kids right now (that and getting in all of my required hours of professional development). I never know I could learn so many names so fast. I need to ensure I get enough sleep and eat lunch so that my brain works and I can REMEMBER the names I knew just last week! Interesting how sometimes it is so easy and other times so hard!!!!

I'm lucky my students are patient with me. Class sizes are around 35 -- multiply that by each hour of the day and you have a TON of names to learn.

Year one is all about hunting and gathering what you need to teach. Who know this was the challenge. Luckily classroom management is only an issue 5th hour. The rest of my hours are relatively under control. 5th hour is like wrestling a greased pig. I'm not certain I'm always winning over their minds... but I'm making progress on their hearts!

Dad is starting radiation for the prostate cancer. So far so good.

Hubby is supportive during this transition. He rocks.

More soon! Yay teaching!

New learning is a blast -- why does it make me so tired!!???

Celebrate!

I can't remember the last time I had BIG GOOD NEWS! But here it is.... I'm a real teacher!!! Sure, I got my certification in the spring of '08, but the fall of '09 is when I got my first FULL TIME teaching gig! I'm so excited! I'll be teaching high school this fall! As one door closes another opens... I'm so exited to finally be walking through this door. I have worked many years to get here. I started back to school 8 years ago! Slow and steady wins the race!

I have to admit it, it has not really sunk in for me yet. What is a joy for me is watching the reactions of those who have walked on this journey with me. So many have known me as I've returned to school. Taking classes while raising a family and working full time is NOT puppy chow. I have had many support and cheer me on. This has been a challenge. I can't wait though!

How wonderful to know that in a few short weeks I will be doing what I LOVE! Wish me luck -- I'm a teaching now and the challenge is just beginning!

Life is good!

Sleep well.....

George Carlin brought the funny every time he took the stage. I will miss him but know his voice will be entertaining the masses on the other side. May he have been in heaven an hour before the devil knew he was dead....

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Sorry for the blog neglect... Every time I think I must have finally finished with the kidney stone the pain returned. Not fun. I got a call for a teaching interview last Monday! I scurried all week to prepare my portfolio only to have them call me back to cancel. Apparently they had found the PERFECT candidate and were canceling the remaining interviews. Little do they realize they missed out on the better than perfect candidate! I'm the candidate that would work harder than the rest. I have convinced myself this is their loss. Thank goodness I already have a paying job!

My next interview is TOMORROW! I got another call and I'm back in the saddle again. Hopefully I will be impressive. At least my outfit and portfolio are ready!

We are not sleeping well here. Hubby's depression had spawned anxiety -- not fun when he has dreams of martial arts attackers. Guess who got hit twice last week? I am NOT a ninja darn it!!!!

Crazy Week!

Wonder Boy has talent. I took this shot of his art on our sidewalk -- it was after sundown so the picture does not really do it justice. All I can say is that I might have suggested he pick a famous piece of art to put on the sidewalk. He had written his name quite large with the obligatory "WAS HERE" and I suggested he replicate a famous painting. Who would have thought my sleep deprived wonder would immediately think of "The Scream"? I wish you could see the awesome shading....

Wonder Boy survived his sleep study and got his CPAP machine 2 days later. It is never that quick. Mine took 3 weeks. I'm grateful for a doctor who cares. Sleep apnea in kids is a HUGE big deal. The more I read the more frightening it becomes -- I'm so glad we are treating him now! He is struggling to adjust to sleeping with the mask; please say some prayer for my poor baby. Hopefully he will get more REM sleep soon.

On another note, Hubby has been driving me insane and I finally know why!!!! He took himself off his depression medication. Yes, my dear Hubby thought he would need to be off his depression medication for employment drug tests. HELLO! They are not testing you for doctor prescribed drugs!!! UGH! He has not been himself for a month! NOW I KNOW WHY! I told him his is never to make this kind of decision without me again. Depression makes him stupid on top of mean. We are on day 2 of being back on the medicine. May I have my real husband back soon! How did I figure it out? Well, he was being such an ASS that I had to finally say "Honey, have you been taking your medicine lately?"

Sometimes a simple little question can cut to the heart of an issue. I can't believe I didn't ask the simple little question sooner!!!!!!

I'm working on my resume and teaching applications. Some of the questions are crazy. UGH! I pushed myself to get through school and now I have no energy for the job search! I'm just not in the mood to write essays about my teaching philosophy. I will try to suck it up.... I'm just so very DONE right now. I could use some time where I'm not facing deadlines....

My best friend is still in the midst of the ugly divorce. Emergency psychological evaluations were conducted this week. Her husband IS crazy. I pray for their family. The husband is all about vengeance and money. She just wants to provide normalcy for the kids (that is normalcy without the spousal abuse her husband inflicted). To complicate matters she has fallen in love and is dating another man (as she fights to accomplish her divorce). Sometimes I wish new love could wait until this were settled, it would make things so much less complicated.

Only another month of school for the kids. Hubby and I will have no children in elementary school. Where did time fly? My newest nephew is due this week. My brother and his new wife are about to have the newest baby. May his other children adjust smoothly... I worry for them. How strange it is that my children are growing older as my siblings rock their new babies.

Super Girl had her first boy / girl party this weekend. Only two boys showed up because the rest didn't want to be around a bunch of girls. I asked Super Girl if the 2 boys had the time of their lives or if they were really uncomfortable most of the time. Her answer -- BOTH! Super Girl is wonderful. She is getting an A in math! YAY!

I had to travel for work this week. I was blessed to see the shore but too tired to stick around for a sunset. I know, I too am shocked at my lack of wherewithal. What up with that?

I don't know? What was up with that?

I don't think they are rats with wings.... unless they poop near me.... that is always irritating. Gulls are pretty if you are deaf....
Their shore dance made me pine for a summer breeze...
I still yearn to sleep one night in a lighthouse...
I wonder what travels that contraption from the shore to the light house? It is strange to look at... the signs tell me I'd be electrocuted if I climb or touch... so I didn't act like spider man to check it all out....
And that is what is new here... you can now see why I've been quiet -- real life is crazy ;-)

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UPDATES
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Thanks you all for the encouraging comments!

Updates:
Hubby went back on his medicine during the phone conversation when I discovered he'd gone off. Hopefully they kick in quick. Bless his heart, he definitely needs to consult me on these things! Some of the basics of depression are lost on those who have not previously suffered it.

Wonder Boy chose to draw The Scream because they had studied it in school and he thought it would be easier than the Mona Lisa. He cracks me up. He has decided the Mona Lisa may be next. How cool is it that kids can look up pictures online quickly vs. having to find the motivation to go to the library to look things up. I'm betting his picture would not happen if he'd had to go to the library :-)

Wonder Boy is really struggling with the sleep apnea mask. We will have to try to adjust this week. He was VERY grumpy this morning.

This too shall pass...

Journey Done!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (a new one begins!!!!!!!!!!)

I took my last final exam. My last final exam!!! Whoop whoop! Done like dinner! I can not believe it is DONE! I started back in 2001. I had a college degree but wanted to get certified so that I could teach the youth of America. So much has happened since I started back to school.

I was in a terrible car accident the first week of class and was on pain killers for the duration of that semester. I could not believe that I rocked a "A" in both of the classes that I took that semester. How do you make A's when you are basically stoned on pain meds? I would drive to class, take a Vicodin, take notes, have pain pill wear off, drive home.

I was afraid of becoming addicted to pain medicine but I could not carry on at work or home without pain management. My doctor told me to take the medicine and do the physical therapy. It didn't help my pain and I struggled to keep up at work and home. I ended up seeking the help of specialists because I wanted my life back. Apparently, "I want my life back" is a magic phrase that makes doctors want to help you. My boss was understanding and my specialist referred me to a combination program of physical therapy, occupational therapy, and pain management. My mom helped me through this -- she drove me to pick up my kids from daycare after my PT and helped make dinner while I recouped on the couch. I felt like a failure, she told me she admired how I functioned through pain. It was so hard admitting I could not do it all..... (wow, this could take a lot of separate posts to explain).

I went through 3 months of education on dealing with chronic pain. I learned about proper medications (acute pain is medicated differently than chronic pain). I happily gave up the medicine and struggled through to learn how to function despite the pain. Basically it boils down to baby steps and learning your limits. During this time my infrequent migraines became frequent.

Time passed and I kept up the hectic pace of being a student, working mom, pain patient and wife. I tried to keep all the balls in the air with the same flair I had prior to the accident. Needless to say, my blood pressure increased and I ended up having a mini stroke. Apparently I had a congenital heart defect which caused the blood to pool funny in my heart. A clot formed and shot to my hand (hello, ouch!). I had a mini stroke (lost feeling on the right side, vision issues, lost some language but regained it over time). I ended up having minor heart surgery to fix the issue and was good as gold. I continued to take classes throughout these crazy setbacks. Try studying after a stroke! Glad I was taking acting that semester -- needless to say I struggled on the memorization piece!

So the minor heart surgery was a basic miracle in my opinion. It was done out patient! I had a catheter surgery where a device was implanted that served to patch the hole in my heart (there's a hole in the bucket dear Liza dear Liza -- somehow that song goes through my head when I think about the hole in my heart, sorry!). My evil sister deemed the device my "internal jewelry." Clever huh? I had my atrial septal defect corrected. I kept taking classes... one at a time... slow and steady wins the race.

This same year my mother came down with uterine cancer. She had symptoms and sought medical help, but the doctor didn't get the joke and missed the diagnosis. Note to the ladies out there: lower back pain and post menapausal bleeding are issues that NO doctor should dismiss. My mom had medical training -- she didn't assert herself to get a 2nd opinion. PLEASE get a 2nd opinion. She went through radiation and had a radical hysterectomy. She had the best attitude -- she actually convinced us that it was no big deal and that treatment would resolve everything. I kept taking classes.

Next my dad had an aortic aneurysm. It ruptured (slow leak -- thank the Lord!). He lost tons of blood and was VERY lucky that a really smart doctor was lurking in the emergency room that night. He was rushed into surgery and survived! We were told that he beat the odds -- 60% of patient like him do not even make it to the hospital, 50% don't make it through surgery, 50% don't make it through the next 24 hours. It has been 5 years and I'm still blessed to have him! I sat with him in the ICU as doctors came in to see "Superman." They could not believe he had survived. Considering this was 20 years after heart bypass surgery, the man earned some bonus points for this feat -- don't you think? I kept taking classes.

My mother inlaw was in and out of the hospital much of this time. She is a gastric bypass patient gone wrong. (I don't know if the issue was her surgery or her noncompliance). Her suffering and hospitalizations made me a more assertive patient advocate (long stories, maybe I'll expand on this someday...) The sad thing is how much she suffered. The silver lining is that her experiences and my medical training helped me help my mom when the cancer returned. She has gone about 6 months without a hospitalization. Yes, this is a record -- it has been 6 years of madness.

Hubby coached the kids soccer teams for a couple of seasons during this madness. I was his chief assistant and bottle washer -- I learned a ton and had a great time (while working full time and taking classes). I loved it and was sad when he had to give it up due to the family business dying.

My mom's cancer returned and went to the brain in 2005. She was given 6-9 months. We lost her 14 weeks after the vertigo hit. I can not describe the devastation. My world will never be the same. I will always appreciate what I have.... Cancer is cruel. Nobody should suffer a death like that... I miss my mom. I miss her pep talks. I'm not in the fog anymore... but I still miss her every day. If you read any of the last three links you will see that this blog is really my own personal therapy. Who needs counseling when you can purge your feelings onto a blog?

The last 2 years since I lost my mom (and married off my sister!) I took 2-3 classes per semester. It seems that if you accelerate you get done faster! I needed to get done. I need to get teaching and to love my work.

So, since I started back to school my kids went from kindergarten kids to tweens. I lost my mom. I'm lucky my dad is still here. I'm lucky my evil mother inlaw is still here. My Hubby and his father lost our savings on a construction business that was supposed to be passed down to hubby. I've learned to live with chronic pain. I've gained 3 fabulous nieces and an adorable nephew. I've learned to appreciate a beautiful sunset. I can enjoy the now -- I never knew how to do this before....

Since I started back to school (yes, it was fall of 2001), I have come to appreciate how much I have left to learn. I loved taking classes because I always felt I was learning. I LOVED student teaching because I loved my students, the things they taught me, and how rewarding it is to finally teach. I love how I come home from school energized vs. drained. I love how my own kids and I share stories about school. I love teaching and who it makes me become in the classroom and at home. I like the teacher in me. She isn't perfect (far from it!), but she tries really hard and cares a ton.

The journey has been long... I'm so happy that I'm ready to start the next chapter of my life as a teacher. I joked with Hubby today about how I'm now an unemployed teacher! Sure, I work full time, but it is not in my chosen field. I am a teacher! I can't believe I'm finally done. You can tell I don't believe it because even as I reflect back on the journey through this post... I still don't believe I'm DONE! DONE! DONE! Maybe it will sink in this weekend when I'm not writing a paper... or perhaps next week when I'm not driving 40 minutes to class.... I'm relieved.

Life is good. Hubby has a job interview this morning.... may he bring me more good news! Sorry -- this turned out to be a really long post; I just can't believe how much has happened and how much my life has changed since I started back to school.... Yes, there have been challenges, but I'm still standing!

Being done with classes is exciting -- I will force myself to celebrate and savor this moment!

I would like to thank.....

I love Post Secret - some of these people speak for me!

I am excited to report I have passed my teaching certification testing! YIPPEE!!!

Everyone told me not to worry, but I did anyway. I was afraid that though the test seemed easy, it must have been more difficult than I thought and I would therefore fail. How is that for self confidence? Sometimes I make too much of things!

I'm taking a women's self defense class and I made my best friend attend with me. I'm sore as the dickens from the work out and she is too -- sorry to admit this made me feel better as she works out all the time and is fit as a fiddle. I'm currently feeling like a blob. I am grateful she loved the class and is gaining skills to protect herself. Currently the police must stand by when she does custodial exchanges with the soon to be ex husband. How sad is it that he can't put his children first? I feel so sorry for her and the kids! He has been violating the PPO. I hope he is held accountable.

My Hubby didn't get the call last week.

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The friend who works for the company he interviewed with said it is because they are so short handed at present. I hope this is right....

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Waiting is still so difficult.

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I was thinking how much easier it is to be patient now vs. when I was my children's ages (they are turning 11 and 12). Somehow life's bumps and bruises have made me so much stronger. I would not wish any of my childhood teasing on my kids, but I must admit it made me stronger. I guess struggles make you who you are. We will get through these difficult employment and financial times. I'm just so grateful for health for my family and friends. If you have health you have everything. Now to get back to losing weight! I wish I could figure out my recent rapid weight gain. Getting old isn't reason enough!!! (Yes, I will be 40 this year!).

Back to staring at the phone and trying to come up with an exercise program when I can't afford the gym. Self motivation is hard to find when it comes to working out and eating healthy. Why is it so much cheaper to NOT take care of myself?

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I will take baby steps.

Student Teaching

Things I will miss about student teaching:

- Connecting with kids who I didn’t realize I could reach!

- Days that fly by!

- Watching a student burst into the room with a story to tell.

- Seeing students grow and improve their skills!

- Laughing all day long.

- Telling students how great they are.

- Working with an awesome staff who truly love kids.

- Having my worst day be a GREAT day!

- Learning every hour of every day.

- Making a difference!

- Learning their names – I feared I couldn’t learn 165+ student names names but I did!

- Telling parents how great their kids are!

- Listening to kids and learning what they think about a piece of literature.

- School spirit – fun to see it!

- Hope for the future – how can you not have hope when you are with the future leaders today?

- Growing with my students

- Learning how to facilitate discussion – helping kids make connections but letting THEM make the connections.

- Learning more about my subject in order to teach it properly.

- Enjoying being with kids every day.

My students gave me so much joy and energy each day. I miss them already. I can’t wait to finish my last few classes so that I can get a job teaching!!!

This is where I am meant to be... I can't wait!

Seriously?

Seriously? I wonder sometimes. Tomorrow my best friend goes to the cancer clinic for a 2nd opinion. Her mother is taking her. I want to take her. I want to hold her hand. I want to question the doctors. I want to be there. Letting go is hard when you are used to jumping in....

Hubby broke his foot. Tae Kwon Do is his new love. Looks like the sidelines for a while now that he has been walking around with a broken foot for two weeks after his first tournament.

I was the teacher at parent teacher conferences this week. I love my students so it was pretty easy gushing about them to their parents. I didn't realize that I had as many special needs kids as I have in my classes. Apparently we hide this in high school?

Whatever... they are wonderful in my eyes.....

Resource room? Really? I had no idea! Learning disability? Really? Not in the records. WOW. His dad died of a heart attack last year? Really? I'm so sorry. He is a wonderful boy. You have done a great job. He is a pleasure to have in my class. I love the smile she brings every day. She is brilliant (and she is!). How wonderful that each of these kids have given me something great to say about them. How wonderful that each of these kids show me something to love about them. There is not one single kids that has not given me a good thing to tell their parents. I love teaching. I love being with my students. I will miss them SO much when this semester ends....

I love teaching.

Teaching, Learning, Adapting

It makes quite a difference in my daily life that I am not driving as much while I am student teaching. Typically I was putting 20-25,000 miles per year on my car. Driving increases my pain due to neck and arm positioning. NOT driving has been wonderful!

My drive to school for student teaching is reasonable and it makes me realize how pain impacts the quality of your life. I am grateful that my pain is manageable 6 years after my car accident. I am grateful that driving less seems to be helping. How strange it is when my 6 year companion of daily pain does not shout at me for attention right now. How strange it is when the ache is like a lawn mower noise in the background; it is there, but it isn't affecting me all that much. Hopefully when student teaching is over I will secure a teaching position that is close to home. Not having to drive long distances is quite helpful to me!

Another thing that is interesting about my student teaching experience is how much my 2002 minor stroke comes into play. I can relate to students with various learning styles because I now understand what it is to be a visual learner. I understand what it means to have to write EVERYTHING down. I know what it is like to have difficulty moving something from my short term to my long term memory. I use myself as an example ALL the time. My high school students are learning from my experience. I had to learn how to learn all over again after my stroke.

My discussions asking them how they learn best have been fascinating. I can relate to ALL of their learning styles (visual, auditory, kinetic, etc...). We discuss learning and they give each other ideas to try. What a great way to help learners learn! They like to have a teacher who will admit academic struggles. They love it that I have to work hard to do well in school. They are fascinated that I used to have a nearly photographic memory and that now I won't remember something from yesterday without some kind of trigger (like a note to myself or just a little more detail on a story they told me). They laugh when I often exclaim "Oh yeah!" as they tell me again and the light bulb goes on for me.

It isn't that I'm stupid or don't pay attention, it is that I don't access the memory that is stored as easily as I once did. My students also get a kick out of how hard I work to learn their names. I can come back from a weekend and find that I've lost some of their names. If I don't use the name often, it is gone and not accessible for immediate recall. My students now realize I will never forget their faces, but their names which I called Friday may not be there for me Monday! I have learned that this is okay. I accommodate by taking a lot of notes. You can accommodate for memory issues if you are willing to work at it.

The workload is pretty insane right now for me. Learning how to be a teacher is great -- it is just difficult since there are only so many hours in the day. Each new experience takes me longer now than it will when I am a seasoned teacher. I am tired from all the hours spent with essays. My cooperating teacher reminded me not to spend more time on an essay than the student did.... interesting way to think of it. I am going to let them do the rewrites and wrestle with their own errors. She made a good point in that they will learn from having to find the error (we indicate what line, they need to find the error on the line) and then correct it. True that! I correcting the error am teaching them nothing. Letting them find and correct it forces an investment of time and brain power which will result in learning. Can I just have 5 more hours in each day so I can turn these papers around more quickly?

I get it teachers -- you deserve those summers off since much of the school year you are working double time! I also see why teachers don't want to change what courses they teach. It is much more fun for me to tweak a lesson than to create one. A lot of planning goes into a semester and it is so much simpler to adjust content when you already have the skeleton on which to layer the muscle. The thought of finding out what you are teaching and then starting the next day blows my mind. I like to plan ahead and my current workload doesn't allow for it as much as I'd like... Juggling family obligations on top makes the challenge greater. As much as I love student teaching I will love teaching more when I've secured a job and have my own classroom. I love the students that I've been loaned. It would be wonderful to teach in this school someday...