Pediatric Sleep Apnea & More

Okay, it is beyond pediatric sleep apnea now. Wonder Boy (his sidewalk chalk work in the photo above) has been on the CPAP machine (and compliant) for the better part of 2 months... We have been struggling with the sleep issue for a while now. He has gone along with us (kicking and screaming) and he is still really tired. The poor kid just drags. Picture Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. He has a heck of a time falling asleep and a HELL of a time getting up in the morning. He drags himself through most days and has become quite the absent minded professor. You would be absent minded too if you were not getting any restful sleep. I was a mess prior to getting diagnosed and treated for sleep apnea... I feel for him.

Unfortunately, Wonder Boy is special. His sleep apnea only kicks in during REM sleep and his body has compensated by reducing the amount of REM sleep he gets. Basically, his body won't let him get into much REM. REM sleep is your most restorative sleep. It is a wonder this kid is doing as well as he is... and this is his worst semester EVER. (I think the sleepiness is not helping with the absent minded professor thing he already had going... he does the work, then forgets to hand it in.)

So today Hubby took Wonder Boy back to the sleep specialist today for a heart to heart. We needed to get to the bottom of this so I made Hubby go. The truth is that I felt really guilty about how long it has taken to get Wonder Boy to use the CPAP, I felt too guilty to face the doctor since I'm the bad mom who missed the last appointment. Yep, I bit the bullet and let Hubby face the sleep specialist, I was too ashamed.

Well, apparently a small percentage of kids like Wonder Boy don't respond to CPAP treatment (you know, that sleep machine that helps you keep breathing). These kids are given Ritalin. RITALIN. Sure, that freaked me out. But, apparently Ritalin helps kids like Wonder Boy because it has an opposite affect than we would expect -- it wakes them up during the day when they need to be awake. He is going on a very small dose (7mg in the AM, 3mg in the afternoon). The hope is that Wonder Boy can function more normally day side, get physical activity going, wear himself out like a normal person, and then sleep better at night. Who knew Ritalin was used to treat narcolepsy? The wonder of the Internet never ceases... I don't think the sleep specialist mentioned NARCOLEPSY to my husband... it is unlikely in my professional medical opinion.. but I will do the next consult and find out if this is the diagnosis....

We start the medicine the day after tomorrow (big testing at school tomorrow, so we thought it better to start on a non-testing day). Please say some prayers for Wonder Boy. He has been less and less active these last 2-3 years... I know the sleep issues are part of it. He will have to change his ways and be more active. I will help him... I hope the medicine does too. Maybe he and I can lose our extra weight together. So pray for him please... that this is the answer. He deserves to feel rested and happy again... he has been such a trooper that it took us a while to figure out the problem. May this be our solution...

And now to change gears...... Here is the drive I took to cheer myself up and forget my worries:



Have I mentioned how much I love the fall?

Epic Walk - The Dunes

We took our epic walk last weekend. Wonder Boy and I had to drag Super Girl; I threatened no TV for the rest of her life. She succumbed to my brilliant persuasive technique and trudged behind us in a less than cheerful manner. Once we got her on the beach she got into the spirit of the day and all went well.

Upon arriving at the beach we checked our gear: 2 bags between us, the camera, toasty crackers, 3 bottles of water. Yes, we were perfectly equipped for our epic walk. We knew we needed to out do our last mega walk, so we kept our shoes on in order to survive longer. The walk was much easier in my sneakers. We stayed near the shore where the sand was hard. We walked and shared stories of the last epic walk occasionally stopping to mark our progress by looking back. We found cool rocks to add to our collection -- some were so big we decided to pick them back up on the walk back vs. being weighted down with them.

We met a man and his dog along the way and he told us of the awesome dune that you could climb. Much of the shore is a protected area to prevent erosion of the dunes, but there was one spot where you are ALLOWED to climb the dune (much of the dune is protected land). He said he made it 1/4th of the way up and that the view was AWESOME. Crap I thought, I'm old and way out of shape -- there is no way I'm up for this challenge.

(Note: Dunes are much taller than they appear)

We got to the dune and there were a few families RUNNING down the dune -- kids had small rooster tails of sand spraying behind their feet. It looked really fun. I wanted to go, but could I muster the strength and courage? I asked the adults of the dune party how it was. The one mom told me it took 15 minutes to get to the top. The other said and hour and 15 minutes. I sensed someone was lying to me and I had no idea which of these ordinary looking ladies was the devil and which was the angel.

There was a man without a hand with them and he said it wasn't that bad, we should climb. I'd watched him coming down the dune at a leisurely large stepped stroll and thought -- well, he has just one hand and he had the courage. He had the strength to climb that dune despite this physical disability. Perhaps I could overcome my lack of physical ability and I could at least attempt part of this massive steep dune. The kids begged. The adults encouraged me. Like a fool, I listened to my inner child. I decided to attempt the dune.

The families cheered me on. I had already removed my shoes, so I began my ascent with gusto. I watched as our offspring ran ahead of me. "I'll help you if you need it mom!"

Yeah right.... I think I made it 15 feet before I got tired. I looked back at those families and they again cheered me on as they walked away laughing. I now knew who was the angel and who was the devil. This was a physical challenge that amounted to vertical rock climbing in sand that can cave and drag you down. You could tread the same path again and again, 2 steps forward one back, 3 steps forward and 4 back. Progress was painful. I could feel my knees moan. The sand wedged tightly beneath my clawing fingernails. Super Girl was far ahead of me.... "Come on mom!"

I panted. Sweat dripped down my face. My pants began to fall down. I was the picture of climbing genius.

Wonder Boy was 1/2 way between Super Girl and I -- "You can do it mom!"

The sand became quick sand. I struggled and tried not to go under. Our children leaped and sprang forward like gazelles. "Walk in my footsteps mom, it is easier."

The view down as I paused (again) to catch my breath.

The view looking up from the same spot as I panted uncontrollably.The view from more than 1/4 the way up (I beat the tall guy's climb!)

Um yeah, sure -- footsteps that were too far apart for my poor short legs (running strides are longer, I remember that). I made my own trail by digging in a knee and then stepping on that spot. I would go in spurts, then I would stop and pray to God that he would spare me a heart attack as I desperately tried to make a wonderful memory for my kids.
This memory making stuff is really hard work... but worth it (when you catch your breath!)

After what seemed like an eternity, I felt I'd made little progress. The kids seemed to be miles ahead of me. I now understood why that guy and dog only made it 1/4 of the way. Everyone spoke of this great view from the top. Um.... perhaps it was heaven they were looking at but I would not make it to heaven today. Nope, today I would be happy to make it just 1/2 way up that dune. If I made it half way I could enjoy the view and feel superior to the tall guy with the dog who made it 1/4 the way.

Oh yeah, I made it more than 1/2 way!

I called up to Wonder Boy to let him know I was resting. Super Girl was so far ahead I don't think she could hear me. There were wild flowers on each side of this secret path up the dune.... they were beautiful and filled with bees who I was sure sensed my allergies. They lingered near me to try keep me from my goal (or maybe to frighten me on toward it?). I ignored the bees and my aching muscles and somehow went on. I was sweating and panting, but I HAD to make it to the midway point. There was a bit of and opening or clearing -- the open sand of the dune was bright against the blue sky above, mocking me because it seemed so near and yet so far.

It may not seem like a zillion miles to you.... but there was no way I would make it to the summit today.

After a struggle too long to describe, I made it! No, not to the top -- just to that section where my kids were hanging out. You would have been so proud of me! The kids were so proud of me! The bees were so proud of me! I was so proud of me! I think I heard the angels singing...... Yes, there must have been angels singing. My heart pounded and swelled with pride at the same time. The view was awesome.

If you click the picture you can see the tiny lighthouse at the start of our walk... it is a zillion miles back.

My view (I included my feet so Hubby would believe that I took the photo!). The specks at the bottom are Super Girl and Wonder Boy.I lay back on the sand and looked up above my head -- above it what I saw as I lay there exhausted not wanting to climb back down to where my kids were...

Hubby will have to do this with us next time. I think it would be best if he climbed it first and then threw a road down for me. Seriously, I might have a heart attack if I attempt the entire thing. I think Super Girl made it nearly to the top. I was between 1/2 and 3/4. Maybe I could make it the whole way if I stopped a zillion more times and if I wasn't carrying rocks in my backpack (they are cool rocks though...) I loved the view. It was AWESOME. The only bad thing was missing Hubby since he could not join us on this trip. We wished so much that he were there with us to see it. We also wondered aloud if he would be game for the climb. I voted that he would be and my kids voted him as questionable in terms of sense of adventure.

The one handed man had said that the trip down was easy, "like walking down and escalator." This should have clued me in. He was friends with the devil lady. They were evil for lying to me, but I'm grateful because without their lies I never would have made the attempt to climb that dune.

Watching Wonder Boy attempt descent showed me what I needed to know -- lean forward and you will be ON YOUR FACE. I chose to take pretty pictures of our children going down as I pondered the path before me. Nobody was around. I decided to go down the dune on my butt. Heck, why risk breaking a limb when you can take the cowards way out? Without witnesses I could always deny my boot scooting.....

Picture a cowboy on a bucking bronco. If I moved my hips and legs just right I slid quite nicely down the sand (yes, some sand came with me). The image of that bucking bronco came into my mind and I raised a hand like I was swinging a lasso and yelled "YEE HAH!!!"

I yelled it repeatedly. "YEE HAH..... Yee Hah!!!!............YEEEEEE HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wonder Boy thought it was Super Girl yelling so he yelled at her. Then he realized that she was laughing -- laughing so hard that she was doubled over and making no noise. He looked and saw me with my YEE HAH! He also saw my awesome butt trail in the sand. Oh yeah, I left a sweet looking trail down the dune as I rode that bronco to dune freedom.

I took most of my photos from the spot WAY up there where the grass comes together & then opens back up.

The next thing you know both of our children are bent over peeing themselves with laughter. The three of us busted a gut looking back at my trail of greatness and courage.

It was a long walk back, but it seemed pretty short as we shared war stories and yelled YEEE HAAAAA!

(long walk back)

We both dread and look forward to climbing that dune again! Until next summer...

Legacy withstands flood.

We always head north and to the lake shore for the 4th of July holiday. My mother started this tradition when my kids were babies and it continues as her legacy today. We all gather every year and enjoy slow cooked ribs and fireworks over the water.

Sometimes it feel like my life is a sitcom.... Last week we went to my dad's cottage to get away from it all (the stress of job interviews, kidney stones and child predators to name a few of the recent stresses of life). So we drive 4.5 hours and arrive to beautiful weather. The sun is shining, the birds as singing, a gentle breeze is making the leaves on the trees rustle making the sweet music of leisure time to come. (Yes, I was thinking of sunsets too!).

I had driven up a day early to open up and dust the place so that when my dad and siblings arrived the next day they could launch right in to a relaxing 4th of July weekend. I call my dad to let him know we have arrived safely and that all is well. I am on the phone with him as I open the front door of the house.... and see the rain.... INSIDE THE HOUSE. "Uh, dad... I gotta go, it is raining in the house!"
The place was an utter sauna. The temperature was high and the humidity was complete. Water is pouring though the ceiling, down the wall, to (and through) the floor. Not only is it water, but it is HOT water. Apparently the toilet one the 2nd floor has 2 issues; first there is a leak, second the cold water is blocked off and the leak is hot water only. The kids and I leap into action and use every towel in the house to soak up the water on the first and 2nd floor -- I decide to leave the 2+ inches of water in the basement alone -- that problem was bigger than me.
I got the water shut off and the rain slowed. I put pots and pans out to catch the rain in the kitchen and front hall... My dad called the insurance agent and the ball got rolling. It was crazy though -- because the water was HOT every window in the entire house was dripping water. Every sill had to be wiped. Every window opened. After going through and opening all the windows I realized I had to go back and open all the soaked blinds so that they could dry. The window latches had actually rusted due to the humidity that was in the house.... This window was nowhere near the water damaged area (it is actually the window that was furthest from the flooding!). See that stuff on the white paint? It is the rust leaking off the latch of the window.
I had to wiped down every window and sill. Counters, cabinets, drawers all were soaked. The ceiling sagged and the paint on the wall bubbled with the water that flowed beneath. I've never seen anything like it.

Even little things like bathroom cabinets are damaged from sitting in water for who knows how long.
The work is one thing, but the hurt is another. It hurt to see my parents legacy in danger. It hurt to see all of my mother's loving care soaked in water. She made this wonderful home away from home a haven for us in the storm of life. This was the shining place we went to escape from it all. It is hard seeing things damaged in this perfect home. Let's face it, this "cottage getaway" is MUCH nicer than my own home! Luckily only one picture had water damage -- but it is a very sentimental one that was drawn of my mother. The dry out specialists took it for me and I do think it will be okay. I kept cracking jokes with the dry out specialists; "At least I don't live here!" They were a pleasure to work with and truly treated the home with care.

Now my dad will be dealing with insurance adjusters. Luckily the contractor (who gutted this home to the studs and rebuilt it with my mom) is still around and views the home as his baby. I trust him to bring her back to her glory. We will get it back together. There are many more summers that will see us appreciating the beauty of my mother's legacy and the lake shore.
We still celebrated the 4th there (my siblings and our families). We shared fireworks with hundreds of others on the beautiful shore. We enjoyed each other and relaxed despite the roar of the fans (drying carpet and walls) and the hum of dehumidifiers.
We went to the beach and enjoyed the magic of the waves and sun.

My dad handled the loud fans well and kept calm despite his broken heart. His heart was less broken when the contractor reassured him the home would be 100% restored. Dad even handled it well when his car overheated and my Hubby had to go pick him up from his excursion to the store.

The thing that helped me and my family maintain our humor was remembering that this is just a house and stuff, what really matters is people. The family was together and I was able to cook big wonderful meals using my mom's recipes. New happy baby feet danced on the waters edge while hanging on to her mother's hands. What is better than learning to walk? Learning to walk on water!
The weekend started crazy, but ended up as another beautiful gift from my mother. What a wise woman to have started this tradition. No matter how the family grows we will always make room for more when we go and spend time together on the 4th of July.

I hope you have a tradition that pulls your family together -- gathering on the 4th is great for us since this is a holiday that inlaws do not seem to fight over.... I'm glad. It was nice to have everyone together this year. We felt my Mom was with us too... telling us to lighten up and enjoy the sunset.

We enjoyed it... and still missed her too.

Sunsets and Mother's Day

A small part of me secretly LOVES to leave town for business (I don't have to leave town often, so at this stage in life I can admit that going away is sometimes a guilty pleasure). Staying overnight on the other side of the state allows me the opportunity to get a sunset fix. I am a sunset junkie.
It was not until living through me some major and painful curves in my life that I appreciated the sunset. In the old days I was more like, "Yeah, show me a picture. Yep, pretty -- let's go." I did not know how to appreciate a sunset. To truly appreciate it, I have learned to be patient.

You have to get to the beach early -- well before the sunset. In doing so you see the diamonds shimmer on the waves. The sun that is still high kisses the waves and they glisten like a billion flashbulbs going off.... (this is a photo from a summer sunset the started with flashbulbs as Wonder Boy and Super Girl wowed me with their handstands).
If you are patient and wait, after the flashbulbs the sky transforms in a dance of color. It is best if there are a few clouds because the glare isn't as harsh. The naked eye can be wounded by the brightness of a clear sky sunset! I appreciate a few clouds -- this way I can look at the sunset without sunglasses distorting God's color pallet.The other night was amazing. The beach was shared by loving couples walking hand in hand. Dogs took their owners for walks both on the sidewalk and on the sand. I loved watching their dance of joy as the wind swept sand grains making patterns that begged for canine dancing. How kind those dogs were to do the circle dance for our pleasure!

I sat in my car because the wind made it cold. I would get out for the end... but I would stay warm and read for the long wait. It was worth the wait! I indulged my love of lighthouses... I sometimes like to imagine myself living in one and being lulled to sleep by the waves... or being energized by being in the midst of a mighty storm. A lighthouse fascinates me... I have never been in one though I do visit one up close on the outside (let me in!!!).
I was not alone huddled in my car. Others sat, both alone and in pairs. We smiled and nodded to one another, but wedid not disturb each other.... we were together in the club of appreciators. We GOT IT. I am glad I get it now. I'm glad I can take the time to actually jump off the merry-go-round and simply enjoy the moment.

I am glad I am no longer that person who could not stop and enjoy the moment. This sunset was beautiful. I left my car and walked along the beach. I found the perfect bench and sat awed by God's display. The locals promise me that they appreciate it.... but I caught a few who were in too much of a hurry on their walk.... "Isn't this the best?" I would ask. Often the response was "YES!" but sometimes it was "uh, yeah..." I hope the yeah's become yes's! I hope it doesn't take despair to teach them the value of savoring the moment.I shared this sunset with others... they sat in their cars savoring the colors of the sky... the glow made you warm inside if not on the outside. We wondered at the glory and respected each other's space...
As for mother's day, I hate that I'm jealous of others on Mother's Day. I hate that my mom isn't here with me... but I'm so glad she was MY mom. I'm so glad she was my example. I'm so glad that her appreciation of the sunset lives on through me. I'm so glad....

I will tune out the media hype on mother's day. I miss her too much... How can it be three years? How do those old people still share the earth with their mothers? Do they appreciate them? I hope so. I learned to appreciate the sunset... I no longer take it for granted. If you still have a mother sharing this earth with you... take the time to appreciate her... I'm happy you can enjoy her this weekend... If you are a mom, thank you for being an amazing force in this crazy world.

I miss you mom. Thank you for teaching me about the glory of each sunset. I'm still appreciating them... I'm sorry I didn't get to appreciate more of them with you...

This and That

We had a wonderful trip this weekend. We went to the lake shore and got to see sun shine on the beach while dark haze ruled the waves. What a blessing it is to stay for free at my dad’s place.

The sunset was hazy but still a pretty sight for these eyes.

It was interesting to see a buffalo herd – the owners of the farm must have laughed as we stopped to snap photos to show the kids.

Hilarious how he climbed the hay to get a better look at us.

It was a short trip away from it all….. Reality smacked me in the face when we returned and were greeted with many a past due notice. We have not paid our mortgage yet and we are STILL past due. We owe the state $1000 (note to self, never again let hubby defer taxes if he collects unemployment…).

I’m really stressed. Yes, my blood pressure is still a mess. I will look at my pretty pictures and escape back to the peace and joy of being away from it all. This too shall pass. I need to snap out of this mini depression that hit me so hard when we got back. This should be a happy week -- I take my last final TOMORROW and I am DONE like dinner! I will get my paperwork within 90 days of grades posting and will then be able to call myself and unemployed teacher! (I'm employed, just not as a teacher :-)

Hubby has another interview tomorrow. Please pray for him again / still. Spring has finally arrived -- maybe it will arrive for the employment scenario as well?

Thanks for all of the warm wishes on our anniversary. There is nobody I'd rather go to the poor house with!!!

I'll follow the sun...

At least look at the pictures -- there is nothing like a pink sunset!

On my work trip I was lucky enough to see the lake again. I don't usually ever see it with the big iceburgs.... I almost had to hum the musical themes from The Titanic as I gazed upon the water... The temperature was almost 50 degrees and you would have thought it was summer with all of the walkers who were taking in the scene. I love it that the locals appreciate their gem of a beach!
The sunset was spectacular. ...
I put on my winter coat and gloves and watched it for an hour. I had a book with me, but I didn't read it. How could I look away?
The pink moments brought tears to my eyes. How lucky I was that my one night here I could have the gift of the best sunset ever! Those are not boats in the water they are icebergs. The other interesting thing is that the water shines pink and the blue beyond that shine is pure ice.

I was awed at that pink and how it etched each cloud. They hung there and glowed....
And they glowed.The color took my breath away.


Yesterday morning I stopped back on my way out of town. More ice breaking apart. Then I realized it... I could not hear the waves! Here I stood looking upon the vast frozen water and there was no noise. You could hear gulls and some cars sometimes from the road... but the lake was silent.
It was nearly 60 degrees and more ice was breaking apart. The quiet filled the air and I was grateful. How lucky I was that I had the water to bring me peace. How lucky we are that we are only fighting a flu in this home right now. How lucky we are to have scrambled and survived this long after Hubby's paychecks stopped rolling in. How lucky we are to have the tiny checks from his job we thought would be temporary. Yes the debt is crushing, but we will hold on. Spring will come. Ice melts. Waves return. The lake will sing again.